1
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,760
Award winning truth cuts through the haze,

2
00:00:12,005 --> 00:00:15,360
confronts the darkness
in these end times days.

3
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:23,510
A single match struck against the fear,
hope ignites, drawing redemption near.

4
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,610
Can you feel the trembling in the ground?

5
00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:29,964
A buried heartbeat making sound.

6
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:40,850
We all live in Dead America, but the
dawn's creeping across the Panorama.

7
00:00:40,850 --> 00:00:44,009
This dead awakens, change begins,
from broken places, hope unpins.

8
00:00:44,009 --> 00:01:00,119
Yeah, we all live in Dead America.

9
00:01:00,119 --> 00:01:02,740
One healing spark starts the pyre,
burning brighter, taking it higher.

10
00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:07,140
Today we're speaking with Adriene
Caldwell, she is the author of

11
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:10,289
Unbroken: Life Outside The Lines.

12
00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:12,960
Adriene, could you please
introduce yourself?

13
00:01:13,020 --> 00:01:15,480
Let people know just a little
more about you, please.

14
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:16,930
Absolutely.

15
00:01:16,930 --> 00:01:19,990
First, I wanna thank you, Ed,
for having me on your show.

16
00:01:19,990 --> 00:01:23,890
It's a privilege to be here
with your audience and with you.

17
00:01:24,580 --> 00:01:29,740
I am Adriene Caldwell, I did write a
book, it's Unbroken: Life Outside The

18
00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:34,750
Lines, and it's the story of my life
from early childhood to early twenties.

19
00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:39,840
And this will serve as our
trigger warnings, uh, as well

20
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,020
as a foundation for who I am.

21
00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:51,210
So during that time, I was either the
witness to or the victim of sexual assault

22
00:01:51,210 --> 00:01:56,315
of a young girl, the drowning death of
another child, emotional and physical

23
00:01:56,315 --> 00:02:04,205
abuse, extreme poverty, mental illness,
homelessness, horrifically abusive foster

24
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:12,845
care, bulimia, drug and alcohol addiction,
pedophilia, death, suicide, and incest.

25
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:22,740
So there is not a lot that I can't
relate to in one way or another.

26
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:30,870
I have during that time, well, my entire
life, uh, the, the hits actually kept on

27
00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:34,770
coming even after my, my early twenties.

28
00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:39,210
I don't include it in the book, there,
there may be a book two out there one

29
00:02:39,210 --> 00:02:49,170
day, not sure, but, um, yeah, my, my
life was hell and I made it through.

30
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:56,670
And I'm on the other side of it, and
I, I am writing my book, I am sharing

31
00:02:56,670 --> 00:03:05,460
my story for anyone out there who
is feeling just lost and alone, and,

32
00:03:06,135 --> 00:03:10,905
like, nobody understands what they're
going through and nobody can relate.

33
00:03:11,055 --> 00:03:17,355
I, I wanna put myself out there, uh,
to, to kind of be a, a beacon, if

34
00:03:17,355 --> 00:03:22,635
you will, if that doesn't sound too
snobby, uh, or pretentious, really.

35
00:03:22,755 --> 00:03:29,495
Um, if I can go through everything
that I went through and end up with

36
00:03:29,704 --> 00:03:34,715
this amazing life that I never in
a million years could have imagined

37
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,165
for myself, then you can make it to.

38
00:03:38,615 --> 00:03:39,725
It is possible.

39
00:03:39,725 --> 00:03:46,175
It's hard, it's brutal, um, it,
it is a struggle, but you can go

40
00:03:46,175 --> 00:03:49,355
from just surviving to thriving.

41
00:03:49,505 --> 00:03:52,835
It is possible, and I want
to put that out there.

42
00:03:53,855 --> 00:03:56,435
So that's, that's kind of
me, that's what I'm doing.

43
00:03:58,245 --> 00:03:58,485
Yeah.

44
00:03:58,485 --> 00:04:04,365
It's, it's fascinating, you know,
the content that you put out

45
00:04:04,365 --> 00:04:07,935
there, it, it's just in your face.

46
00:04:07,995 --> 00:04:13,335
You give reports, you give notes,
you give the inside look at the

47
00:04:13,335 --> 00:04:16,455
reality of going through the system.

48
00:04:17,205 --> 00:04:23,055
And really, I'm fascinated about
your, your, your unique experience

49
00:04:23,415 --> 00:04:25,185
going through that system.

50
00:04:26,010 --> 00:04:33,600
Could you tell us more about what you
perceive of the systematic failures that

51
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,810
you witnessed going through the system?

52
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:44,130
Absolutely, the failures were epic.

53
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,900
I, I'll start by saying that
my schizophrenic, physically

54
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:54,420
abusive mother, uh, my last
beating was with a wooden dow rod.

55
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,760
The thing you hang your
clothes on in the closet.

56
00:04:57,420 --> 00:05:02,940
That was my last beating from her and
I've never had a nightmare about her.

57
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:08,039
However, the woman that I was placed
with when I entered Children's Protective

58
00:05:08,039 --> 00:05:15,960
Services, the foster mother, um, and
in my book, I refer to her as TBFH,

59
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:24,450
The Bitch From Hell, um, I've had
nightmares about her my entire adult life.

60
00:05:25,215 --> 00:05:30,165
Including within the last three
months, I've had nightmares about her.

61
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:36,435
Couple of statistics that, that I, I like
to put out regarding foster care, and

62
00:05:36,465 --> 00:05:45,120
this is, this is very close to my heart,
um, in most states, I, I can't say all, I

63
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:49,280
don't know for sure, but in most states,
when you're a ward of the state until

64
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:56,370
you're eighteen, you're able to attend
any public, state, in state university,

65
00:05:56,610 --> 00:05:58,800
and they waive your tuition and fees.

66
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:04,260
And now not only do you get to go to
college for free, they actually help with

67
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:07,080
your room and board and your meal plan.

68
00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:09,300
There are funds allocated to that.

69
00:06:09,810 --> 00:06:14,790
So, and it doesn't have to be university,
it can be a vocational program.

70
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:20,790
Go to, go to school for cosmetology,
or electrician, plumber, what have you.

71
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:27,690
And less than three percent of
kids turning eighteen, getting out

72
00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:31,580
of foster care, less than three
percent take advantage of that.

73
00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:37,485
And that's just, just
such a missed opportunity.

74
00:06:38,025 --> 00:06:46,945
Another, another stat, um, prisoners,
one in five, roughly twenty percent

75
00:06:47,025 --> 00:06:52,395
of our US prison population, one
in five are former foster youth.

76
00:06:53,565 --> 00:06:56,414
They've been in foster
care, one in five prisoners.

77
00:06:57,914 --> 00:07:06,585
And, um, finally, seven out of ten
females will have had a child by the

78
00:07:06,585 --> 00:07:08,094
time they're twenty-one years old.

79
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,180
Seven out of ten.

80
00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:17,550
So not only are we failing our children,
these children that, that have been

81
00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:23,670
entrusted to the public, to this state
for their welfare, not only are we

82
00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:28,500
failing them, we are setting their
children up for failure as well.

83
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:34,410
By not ensuring that the eighteen-year-old
goes to vocational school or the

84
00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:38,790
college, by not ensuring that, that
they're gonna have tangible life

85
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:47,650
skills, so, so that they can have a
profession and, and not rely on, on

86
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:54,789
the already strained and broken social
safety net that's meant to be in place.

87
00:07:55,180 --> 00:08:02,440
It's there, but it is so flawed,
um, it, it failed me epically.

88
00:08:03,070 --> 00:08:08,050
My foster parent, The
Bitch From Hell, TBFH.

89
00:08:08,349 --> 00:08:11,349
And it's B, I, I'm just
not saying that word.

90
00:08:11,860 --> 00:08:16,275
Um, And I never use her
first name in, in the book.

91
00:08:16,275 --> 00:08:18,044
I, I never give her a name,

92
00:08:18,104 --> 00:08:22,815
I, I refuse to even give her
that level of control in my life.

93
00:08:23,474 --> 00:08:28,875
But the foster girls, we had to
sit on the floor like animals.

94
00:08:29,235 --> 00:08:32,534
We weren't allowed to sit
on the furniture, and we ate

95
00:08:32,534 --> 00:08:34,125
separately from her family.

96
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,449
It was the foster parent, her two
daughters and her granddaughter.

97
00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:42,860
We weren't allowed to eat with
them, and we had separate food,

98
00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:46,800
like, they would have the steak and
baked potatoes and we'd be eating

99
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:49,479
tuna casserole, hamburger helper.

100
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:52,250
We had separate dishes and silverware.

101
00:08:52,969 --> 00:08:57,680
And the house, uh, and there were
between four and seven girls,

102
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,930
uh, at any point in the home.

103
00:09:00,619 --> 00:09:06,560
Uh, the master bathroom had a half bath,
a, a sink and a toilet, and that was

104
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,989
the only toilet we were allowed to use.

105
00:09:08,989 --> 00:09:14,930
The main bathroom, which we had
to use to shower in, um, we were

106
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,390
not allowed to use their toilet.

107
00:09:17,805 --> 00:09:24,224
So, and at the end of the showers,
the last foster girl to, to shower

108
00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:30,584
for the evening, she had to clean the
tub with bleach before any member of

109
00:09:30,584 --> 00:09:33,435
the foster family would use the tub.

110
00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:42,974
So we were systematically
dehumanized and just made to feel

111
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:50,430
so insignificant, so, just like
we were, we were less than human.

112
00:09:50,430 --> 00:09:54,390
We, we were certainly less
than the foster parents.

113
00:09:55,020 --> 00:10:01,200
And the woman, I, I generally believe
people are good, they don't set out

114
00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:08,985
to hurt people and, and, you know,
on this hidden agenda of being mean.

115
00:10:09,465 --> 00:10:13,575
But I've never been able to
explain or understand her behavior.

116
00:10:14,385 --> 00:10:19,395
Uh, for example, one time I was trying
on swimsuits and I came out and I

117
00:10:19,395 --> 00:10:24,855
showed her and she looked me up and
down and said, Oh, your thighs are fat.

118
00:10:25,185 --> 00:10:31,995
I'm surprised you haven't started growing
up to lose weight, those were her words.

119
00:10:33,435 --> 00:10:40,095
I was, while in her care, I was put
on medication to treat my depression.

120
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:45,225
And for me at the time, at fifteen
years old, I thought that meant that

121
00:10:45,225 --> 00:10:47,685
I was defective, that I was broken.

122
00:10:48,195 --> 00:10:51,885
And I came back from that
appointment and I took my razor

123
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:54,795
apart and I scratched my wrist.

124
00:10:55,755 --> 00:11:02,100
Um, it, it wasn't life threatening,
I don't wanna go into the details.

125
00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:07,500
But when she saw the marks,
she looked at me and she said,

126
00:11:07,590 --> 00:11:09,210
You didn't even do it right.

127
00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:13,200
You're supposed to cut
along the vein, not across.

128
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,330
Those were her words to me.

129
00:11:18,435 --> 00:11:26,535
So this woman traumatized me and
I was in special foster care.

130
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:31,665
I was in what's called therapeutic
foster care, it's for kids

131
00:11:31,665 --> 00:11:33,855
who have additional needs.

132
00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,715
Yes, yes, exactly.

133
00:11:37,185 --> 00:11:38,745
That, that's kind of crazy.

134
00:11:39,105 --> 00:11:44,050
Uh, that, that, you know, in your

135
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:55,590
materials, it came up that you were
faced with socioeconomic class setting

136
00:11:55,590 --> 00:12:03,350
in a foster where you felt a disruption
because of the separation in class.

137
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,670
Is this what you're referring to?

138
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:13,860
Partly, but before I went to her home, uh,
I was placed with my best friend's family.

139
00:12:14,790 --> 00:12:17,940
And I went from abject poverty.

140
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:22,200
When my mother, and I, and my brother,
we lived in government housing,

141
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:28,650
we were the only white family out
of the entire apartment complex.

142
00:12:28,650 --> 00:12:35,550
And it was a very large apartment
complex and just abject poverty.

143
00:12:35,775 --> 00:12:41,655
We, we couldn't afford a vacuum, so my
mother, we were poor, but we were not

144
00:12:41,655 --> 00:12:45,105
dirty, my mother would sweep the carpet.

145
00:12:45,405 --> 00:12:46,965
Everything got bleached.

146
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:54,390
But we were so poor, and food stamps
don't cover paper goods, so we used

147
00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:57,060
wash rags instead of toilet paper.

148
00:12:57,750 --> 00:13:03,750
We washed our clothes in the bathtub
and hung them up to dry there because we

149
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,900
couldn't afford to go to the laundromat.

150
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:13,710
We were, used baking soda because
we couldn't afford toothpaste

151
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,510
and food stamps didn't cover it.

152
00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:23,565
So, um, and, and that was just
the being poor side of my life.

153
00:13:24,405 --> 00:13:28,095
My mother was schizophrenic
and physically abusive.

154
00:13:28,095 --> 00:13:36,195
She beat me regularly and that did
not impact my life negatively to the

155
00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:39,855
same degree as the witch from hell.

156
00:13:41,085 --> 00:13:48,105
So, um, but back to the question, my best
friend in sixth grade, my brother and I,

157
00:13:48,465 --> 00:13:54,105
my mother relinquished her rights and she
basically released us so that we could

158
00:13:54,105 --> 00:13:57,045
be adopted into my best friend's family.

159
00:13:57,855 --> 00:14:03,925
And coming from never having been
to a restaurant where a waiter comes

160
00:14:03,925 --> 00:14:09,865
and takes your order to, you know,
a five bedroom, four bath, you know,

161
00:14:09,865 --> 00:14:17,185
two Lexus cars in the garage, just
upper affluent, upper middle class,

162
00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:25,574
um, they weren't uber wealthy, but,
but they were upper middle class and in

163
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:30,105
my psychiatric evaluation, which I do
include at the end of my book at the end

164
00:14:30,105 --> 00:14:35,485
of Unbroken, I do include the psychiatric
evaluation from when I was thirteen,

165
00:14:36,224 --> 00:14:43,814
there is a quote that says basically
that I am in an unfamiliar territory

166
00:14:43,814 --> 00:14:46,334
in almost every situation I encounter.

167
00:14:47,490 --> 00:14:53,910
So, and that was absolutely true, I did
not know how to fit into their world.

168
00:14:54,480 --> 00:15:00,000
And it wasn't obvious because in
school I, their structure and their

169
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:06,425
rules and I thrived because it, I knew
the rules and I, uh, followed them.

170
00:15:06,425 --> 00:15:09,425
And, um, school was my escape.

171
00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:14,825
It's how I, how I got out of
the being so poor that, that we

172
00:15:14,825 --> 00:15:17,015
lived off of eggs and potatoes,

173
00:15:17,199 --> 00:15:18,880
you know, because we couldn't afford meat.

174
00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:25,630
It was, it was my refuge from my
schizophrenic abusive mother so I thrived

175
00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:28,030
and did very well in academic setting.

176
00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:34,090
But take me out and put me in a family
system that I've, I've never seen,

177
00:15:34,270 --> 00:15:38,890
a functional family, I, I don't know
the dynamics of a mother, father.

178
00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:43,600
I, I don't have a father, there,
there's never been a father in my life.

179
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:48,209
So you, you take me out of one
environment and drop me into this

180
00:15:48,209 --> 00:15:54,209
environment where I have no idea
what's expected of me or what to say.

181
00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:59,910
And, and there were two sons in the
family besides the, the girl that

182
00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:04,469
I was best friends with and the
nickname that they gave me behind

183
00:16:04,469 --> 00:16:06,959
my back, of course, was Ice Queen.

184
00:16:08,295 --> 00:16:12,825
They called me Ice Queen because
whenever I was with them I was

185
00:16:12,825 --> 00:16:18,075
essentially silent and it came off
as if I thought I was better than

186
00:16:18,075 --> 00:16:21,075
them, or, you know, being snobby.

187
00:16:21,645 --> 00:16:26,205
What they didn't understand was I
didn't understand how to behave,

188
00:16:26,505 --> 00:16:32,810
or what to do, or what to say, I, I
was uncomfortable the entire time.

189
00:16:33,825 --> 00:16:37,545
Because I had never witnessed
that before, I didn't know.

190
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:39,255
So,

191
00:16:41,715 --> 00:16:46,795
So, uh, let, let me barge in there
for a moment, if you will, Adriene.

192
00:16:47,625 --> 00:16:55,365
Uh, as, as a person that's been
through it, would you say the living

193
00:16:55,365 --> 00:17:04,770
environment that was best suited for
you, provided by the system, would it

194
00:17:04,770 --> 00:17:12,060
have been in like a group home setting
with other girls or through one of

195
00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:19,380
these homes, uh, foster care homes
with you living with another family?

196
00:17:19,650 --> 00:17:22,200
Because I see there's a difference.

197
00:17:22,679 --> 00:17:28,050
There would be structure that's
identifiable in the group home setting,

198
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:39,209
but not so much in a family setting
where you have to guess, per se, like

199
00:17:39,209 --> 00:17:43,605
you're saying, what is my boundaries?

200
00:17:43,605 --> 00:17:49,005
And, and it would be like you're
being freshly born into the family

201
00:17:49,005 --> 00:17:52,965
and you've got to really figure
all of that stuff out again.

202
00:17:53,505 --> 00:18:00,945
So with all of that being said,
what setting would you say is the

203
00:18:00,945 --> 00:18:06,320
best setting when you have to remove
children from a setting like that?

204
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,010
That's a great question,
that's a great point.

205
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:15,180
I, I had never thought
about that before, the idea.

206
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:19,590
Um, we were homeless the summer
after fourth grade, we lived in the

207
00:18:19,590 --> 00:18:21,900
Salvation Army in downtown Houston.

208
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:27,810
And that's why when I was in foster
care, I opted to go to the therapeutic

209
00:18:27,810 --> 00:18:31,200
foster home instead of a girl's home.

210
00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:38,284
And I, I was familiar with what it
was like living in a shelter, living,

211
00:18:38,705 --> 00:18:46,085
you know, uh, I was familiar with that
environment and I, I thought, I mistakenly

212
00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:50,915
thought that I was going to be placed
in a family that was like the family

213
00:18:50,915 --> 00:18:53,915
that initially took my brother and me.

214
00:18:54,245 --> 00:18:57,185
And, uh, we were only with
them for about a month,

215
00:18:57,185 --> 00:18:59,975
it was while CPS was
getting the paperwork done.

216
00:19:00,395 --> 00:19:08,205
Um, but, uh, I, I thought that's what
every foster family would be like.

217
00:19:08,210 --> 00:19:14,774
The, the Blairs, they were middle class,
working class, you know, taking in foster

218
00:19:14,774 --> 00:19:18,675
kids, good people, just, just good people.

219
00:19:19,514 --> 00:19:23,745
And I, I thought that's
where I was gonna be placed.

220
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:30,240
But the setting question, I would've, I
would've functioned better in the group

221
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:34,439
home, I think, because as you point
out, there's structure, boundaries.

222
00:19:35,129 --> 00:19:44,715
But the family environment is where
I needed to be placed to learn how a

223
00:19:44,715 --> 00:19:51,885
family interacts, how, how people, how
the, the husband and wife communicates,

224
00:19:51,975 --> 00:19:54,554
um, how are the children treated?

225
00:19:54,915 --> 00:19:56,024
What are the boundaries?

226
00:19:56,115 --> 00:19:57,915
What does punishment look like?

227
00:19:58,544 --> 00:20:03,584
Um, I, I didn't learn any of
that, or, well, I, I learned it,

228
00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:05,544
it was just incredibly unhealthy.

229
00:20:06,184 --> 00:20:11,400
Uh, I learned, uh, from, from
my mother, the dysfunction.

230
00:20:11,550 --> 00:20:20,490
So what really, the, the thing that
changed the trajectory for my life, in

231
00:20:20,490 --> 00:20:26,580
my, my junior year of high school, I
received a congressional scholarship to

232
00:20:26,580 --> 00:20:29,490
do a one year foreign exchange to Germany.

233
00:20:30,090 --> 00:20:35,280
And I lived with an incredible
host family, and it was the

234
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:39,030
mother, father, and they had a
five-year-old daughter at the time.

235
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:49,050
And I, I got to see how a family
functions, the engagement, the behavior.

236
00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:56,610
And I went from TBFH, sitting on her
floor, not being worthy of using her

237
00:20:56,610 --> 00:21:05,070
restroom, to having my own room and
my own bathroom, and being accepted

238
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:12,110
and invited into a family environment
where I was welcome and wanted.

239
00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:20,909
And I learned through that experience
what a family is supposed to look

240
00:21:20,909 --> 00:21:24,060
like and how to behave and boundaries.

241
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:28,679
That's where, yeah, that's
where I, I learned it.

242
00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:36,419
And it should have been a foster
home, but I'm, I thank God I was

243
00:21:36,419 --> 00:21:41,879
given that opportunity because it, it
taught me how to function in society.

244
00:21:42,630 --> 00:21:44,520
Which I did not know how.

245
00:21:45,690 --> 00:21:46,020
Yeah.

246
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:53,010
Well, well, that, that's a major
point because so many, well, you

247
00:21:53,010 --> 00:21:59,220
said it earlier, there's so many that
end up in prisons, you know, that

248
00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:01,380
are in these group home settings.

249
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:01,390
And

250
00:22:03,545 --> 00:22:10,680
I, I, I have brothers that have
been through that foster care

251
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,200
and, you know, going to prisons.

252
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:21,690
And these, these recidivist
minds, if you will, come from the

253
00:22:21,690 --> 00:22:25,980
dysfunction that they've went through.

254
00:22:26,550 --> 00:22:34,850
And if, if there's no way to bring light
to that activity to the individual,

255
00:22:36,610 --> 00:22:39,629
they may never actually get out of that.

256
00:22:39,629 --> 00:22:47,700
So finding the right setting for
the individual is a real major

257
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:54,300
portion of how we should be
sending kids through the system.

258
00:22:55,950 --> 00:23:03,120
With that being said, how do they
identify or how do they place you?

259
00:23:03,660 --> 00:23:12,720
What are their identifying
characteristics to place the individuals?

260
00:23:13,770 --> 00:23:14,130
Sure.

261
00:23:15,150 --> 00:23:21,420
So, um, going through, uh,
Children's Protective Services,

262
00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:27,330
they do initially, uh, complete a
psychiatric evaluation on the child.

263
00:23:27,870 --> 00:23:34,380
Uh, it's pretty, it's customary for the
intake process for that to take place.

264
00:23:34,740 --> 00:23:44,385
And that's where any special emotional
needs are identified and that's where, uh,

265
00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:47,655
you kind of get stratified, if you will.

266
00:23:47,685 --> 00:23:55,455
The, the kids with the higher needs,
um, emotional, uh, physical, what have

267
00:23:55,455 --> 00:24:04,740
you, they, they get segregated versus
the the average foster, foster kid.

268
00:24:05,895 --> 00:24:09,795
So my brother, for example, when,
when we were taken in by my best

269
00:24:09,795 --> 00:24:14,235
friend's family in the sixth
grade, he was only four years old.

270
00:24:14,685 --> 00:24:22,515
So he was able to go into the family and
learn the rules, and the behavior, and the

271
00:24:22,515 --> 00:24:28,395
norms, and what's accepted and what's not,
because he was so young and he thrived.

272
00:24:28,620 --> 00:24:28,679
Um,

273
00:24:30,810 --> 00:24:36,810
and I am grateful to them because
they, they took him in, they did adopt

274
00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:42,360
him, and, and he was raised, he's now
married, has a daughter of his own,

275
00:24:42,479 --> 00:24:45,389
he, he's doing very well in life.

276
00:24:46,139 --> 00:24:52,080
Unfortunately for me though, I didn't
fit in their upper middle class,

277
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,679
perfect world, and they got rid of me.

278
00:24:55,770 --> 00:25:03,180
They, they pushed me off onto my aunt
and uncle and I went to live with them.

279
00:25:04,139 --> 00:25:09,960
But the, how are, how are the kids placed?

280
00:25:10,530 --> 00:25:18,660
The group homes exist because there are
just not enough foster homes and there

281
00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:25,980
are, I, I don't know the percentages, but,
but some individuals treat foster care,

282
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:32,520
being a foster parent, as a vocation,
as an occupation, they get as many

283
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:38,220
children as they're legally allowed to
have in whatever environment that they

284
00:25:38,220 --> 00:25:41,160
have, and that's, that's their income.

285
00:25:41,925 --> 00:25:49,365
And I don't think that's necessarily
a bad thing, assuming that they have,

286
00:25:49,455 --> 00:25:54,885
you know, healthy communication skills
and provide a safe environment with

287
00:25:54,885 --> 00:26:01,710
boundaries, uh, I think it is possible
for, for foster parents to do it as a job.

288
00:26:02,255 --> 00:26:05,495
Uh, and for the kids to be okay.

289
00:26:05,660 --> 00:26:07,925
I, I do think that that's okay.

290
00:26:08,195 --> 00:26:12,605
If we got rid of all the foster
parents who, who treated it as an

291
00:26:12,605 --> 00:26:19,485
occupation, my God, we'd, we'd have,
you know, ten, fifteen percent,

292
00:26:19,885 --> 00:26:23,245
maybe less, of, of the existing.

293
00:26:23,275 --> 00:26:29,575
So you, you have to look at the child, but
you also have to look at the environment

294
00:26:29,575 --> 00:26:32,725
that, that the child is being placed into.

295
00:26:33,775 --> 00:26:40,195
So the reality is the group home,
in fact, when I lived with TBFH,

296
00:26:40,615 --> 00:26:47,970
my choices were a group home or,
or stay there, that, that was it.

297
00:26:49,125 --> 00:26:57,195
Um, I, I found out decades later that
my aunt would've taken me back, but

298
00:26:58,514 --> 00:27:02,715
yeah, I, I was thirteen years old
when I went to live with my aunt.

299
00:27:02,790 --> 00:27:08,774
I, I was very emotionally damaged
just, I had been repeatedly

300
00:27:08,774 --> 00:27:11,475
abandoned in, in my life.

301
00:27:12,225 --> 00:27:19,365
So yeah, you have to, you have
to look at the child and then

302
00:27:19,395 --> 00:27:22,034
the reality of, of the situation.

303
00:27:22,544 --> 00:27:27,945
I, I believe that a, a home setting,
assuming all the things are in place

304
00:27:27,945 --> 00:27:32,835
and as it should be, is a better
environment because that foster

305
00:27:32,835 --> 00:27:34,919
child doesn't know how to behave.

306
00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:39,780
They haven't been raised properly,
they haven't been taught, they, they

307
00:27:39,780 --> 00:27:43,650
don't have boundaries, they don't
understand social skills, these are

308
00:27:43,650 --> 00:27:45,870
things that they have to actively learn.

309
00:27:46,410 --> 00:27:53,250
And I don't, I don't know if therapy
is par, par for the course, if

310
00:27:53,250 --> 00:27:56,100
you will, in regular foster care.

311
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:59,070
But I had a therapist who
came out every other week,

312
00:27:59,475 --> 00:28:00,795
who came to the home.

313
00:28:01,425 --> 00:28:07,305
So on one hand I was receiving therapy
and it was addressing my depression,

314
00:28:07,335 --> 00:28:14,385
my anxiety, my OCD tendencies, um,
we were addressing those issues, but

315
00:28:14,385 --> 00:28:20,025
I was simultaneously being abused
by the foster parent and her family.

316
00:28:20,595 --> 00:28:30,405
Just dehumanized and, oh, it,
it's horrific what she did and how

317
00:28:30,405 --> 00:28:32,535
she managed to get away with it.

318
00:28:32,535 --> 00:28:36,795
I, she got away with it because
there weren't any other choices.

319
00:28:37,155 --> 00:28:40,755
It was a group home, which, like
I said, I, I lived in a shelter,

320
00:28:40,755 --> 00:28:45,435
I knew what living in a shelter
would be like, or, or stay there.

321
00:28:45,945 --> 00:28:50,595
And that scholarship that I, the
congressional scholarship that

322
00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:54,615
I received, it's, it saved me.

323
00:28:54,975 --> 00:28:56,325
It really saved me.

324
00:28:56,505 --> 00:29:01,425
I, I was willing to go to a country
where I did not speak the language,

325
00:29:01,425 --> 00:29:03,465
where I did not know anyone,

326
00:29:04,125 --> 00:29:10,425
um, I was willing to do that
rather than stay in that home.

327
00:29:11,205 --> 00:29:13,335
Like, I found an out for me.

328
00:29:15,030 --> 00:29:19,590
I remember when they were handing
out the applications in my German one

329
00:29:19,590 --> 00:29:25,230
class, my intro to German class, the
professor, the teacher was handing

330
00:29:25,230 --> 00:29:27,270
out the applications in the classroom.

331
00:29:27,270 --> 00:29:32,610
And at lunch I was filling in my
application because I, I was applying,

332
00:29:32,610 --> 00:29:40,590
I, I knew that I, I saw an opportunity
to get out of that, out of TBFH's home.

333
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:48,120
And it ended up being so much
of a blessing that, that it

334
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:49,640
changed the course of my life.

335
00:29:50,130 --> 00:29:54,960
I would be dead if that had
not occurred, I'd be dead.

336
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,510
And it's not for lack of
trying, the, the, I'm not dead.

337
00:30:01,410 --> 00:30:01,800
So.

338
00:30:03,990 --> 00:30:04,260
Yeah.

339
00:30:05,070 --> 00:30:10,620
Well, uh, you know, the circumstances
that you grew up in, it, it, it's a wonder

340
00:30:10,620 --> 00:30:13,110
that people do survive in the first place.

341
00:30:13,110 --> 00:30:17,189
And that's the remarkable thing
that you're out here doing is trying

342
00:30:17,189 --> 00:30:21,450
to tell people, I don't have the
answers for everything, but I can

343
00:30:21,450 --> 00:30:24,540
tell you there's an end to this.

344
00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:30,120
And that's, that's really major
that you're out voicing this

345
00:30:30,510 --> 00:30:32,430
because people need that hope.

346
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:40,350
So, you know, do you really
think it's, uh, about funding

347
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,220
when it comes to group homes?

348
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:52,455
Uh, like the foster care, do they have
people come in and help the individuals?

349
00:30:52,455 --> 00:30:59,604
You said it's their only income, so
that that's like a business owner.

350
00:31:00,374 --> 00:31:08,354
They have the right to allocate funds
where they see fit, but is it allocated

351
00:31:08,354 --> 00:31:16,125
in the proper ways and are these things
being determined in the right way?

352
00:31:18,284 --> 00:31:20,625
No, it's not funded properly.

353
00:31:21,104 --> 00:31:27,104
And our caseworkers, the,
the social workers out there,

354
00:31:27,435 --> 00:31:30,104
um, they're not paid enough.

355
00:31:30,104 --> 00:31:31,905
They're not paid a livable wage.

356
00:31:32,385 --> 00:31:37,334
The burnout is incredibly high, I think
it's like three to five years max.

357
00:31:37,635 --> 00:31:43,725
And then, uh, they change
professions and it, it just boils

358
00:31:43,725 --> 00:31:49,965
down to our social safety net, you
know, is, is it has holes in it.

359
00:31:51,030 --> 00:31:53,070
It has major holes.

360
00:31:54,405 --> 00:31:54,765
Yeah.

361
00:31:55,335 --> 00:31:59,985
Yeah, I, I see there's quite
a few systematic failures.

362
00:32:01,125 --> 00:32:09,015
One thing, if I may, the, uh,
my foster parent, TBFH, did not

363
00:32:09,015 --> 00:32:10,785
work for the state of Texas.

364
00:32:11,085 --> 00:32:17,955
She worked for a company that was
for-profit, a for-profit company that

365
00:32:17,955 --> 00:32:20,795
contracted with the state of Texas.

366
00:32:22,125 --> 00:32:29,595
So, they were a for-profit company
trying to make money off of this and

367
00:32:29,625 --> 00:32:37,215
serving as, uh, so TBFH reported to
that company, not the state of Texas

368
00:32:37,425 --> 00:32:40,635
or the case worker, but to a company.

369
00:32:41,625 --> 00:32:49,755
And I think the monetizing
childcare, monetizing raising

370
00:32:49,755 --> 00:32:52,665
our children, it's a mistake.

371
00:32:53,199 --> 00:33:01,844
It, it, it's just fraught
with, with problems, that it's,

372
00:33:04,665 --> 00:33:05,115
yeah.

373
00:33:06,930 --> 00:33:11,670
Well, if, if you're going to take
it upon yourself to say, I'm here to

374
00:33:11,670 --> 00:33:17,370
provide the best for your child and
take the child from the home, you'd

375
00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:19,980
better have that in mind, not profit.

376
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:24,600
Because it cost a lot of money
to raise a child properly.

377
00:33:25,230 --> 00:33:31,635
So the, the mindset behind all of this,
to do things for profit is getting in

378
00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:39,405
the way of healthy families, values,
setting structural boundaries, there's

379
00:33:39,405 --> 00:33:49,754
so much wrong with devaluing life and
monetizing, just corralling the life.

380
00:33:50,145 --> 00:33:57,405
And, and that's what I'm witnessing
and seeing the system do in many ways

381
00:33:57,405 --> 00:34:06,405
and it's disheartening and the only
way to really get light shined upon

382
00:34:06,405 --> 00:34:11,985
these problems is to have conversations
like this that we're having today.

383
00:34:12,225 --> 00:34:17,295
Is there anything else that you think
that our listeners should understand about

384
00:34:18,195 --> 00:34:21,945
the way the system raises our children?

385
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:29,909
I feel like we've, we've covered
it well, uh, we understand that,

386
00:34:30,090 --> 00:34:34,800
that the children are coming from
completely dysfunctional environments.

387
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:42,570
The state doesn't step in for a minor
situation, they, they, there are rare

388
00:34:42,570 --> 00:34:48,060
instances where the state intervenes and,
and it's not an appropriate situation.

389
00:34:48,085 --> 00:34:54,139
But, but I, the majority of the time, the
children that are taken into care have

390
00:34:54,139 --> 00:35:03,440
experienced horrific abuse, and we are
not, we are not getting them counseling

391
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:09,230
and therapy and psychiatric appointments,
and we are not ensuring that they take

392
00:35:09,230 --> 00:35:15,794
advantage of that tuition waiver and go
on to vocational school or college, um,

393
00:35:16,095 --> 00:35:22,875
we're, we're not ensuring the, that the
foster parents should be foster parents,

394
00:35:22,875 --> 00:35:24,794
should be trusted with our children.

395
00:35:24,794 --> 00:35:30,884
Our, our children are our most precious
resource and we are squandering it.

396
00:35:31,870 --> 00:35:32,089
So,

397
00:35:35,055 --> 00:35:37,754
Yes, I, I agree.

398
00:35:38,325 --> 00:35:40,305
Uh, I agree with that a lot.

399
00:35:40,935 --> 00:35:50,775
So the, the bottom line is we, we have
people that are getting away with or,

400
00:35:53,625 --> 00:35:57,825
I, I, I don't wanna, you know,
dehumanize the people that are

401
00:35:58,890 --> 00:36:05,580
helping, but there are some abusing
that system and using it for profit.

402
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:12,870
So I, I wish that if, if somebody
out there listening to this,

403
00:36:13,620 --> 00:36:17,510
they can actually help reach out.

404
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:24,825
And the best people to find out the
ins and outs are people like you,

405
00:36:24,964 --> 00:36:26,714
Adriene, because you've lived it.

406
00:36:27,134 --> 00:36:35,475
And I, I've often witnessed where
they have congressional committees

407
00:36:36,615 --> 00:36:41,955
and the wrong people are putting
on, are being put on the committees.

408
00:36:42,255 --> 00:36:47,235
We really need to look at that
because that's where all of this is

409
00:36:47,235 --> 00:36:53,355
going to be settled is through those
committees, and it's gotta be bipartisan,

410
00:36:53,355 --> 00:36:58,875
non-political, and it's gotta be
addressing the right issues aimed at

411
00:36:58,875 --> 00:37:03,285
a better life for all those children
that have already suffered enough.

412
00:37:03,945 --> 00:37:04,515
That's.

413
00:37:05,445 --> 00:37:08,685
Absolutely, I could not
agree with you more.

414
00:37:10,185 --> 00:37:15,345
Yeah, so I wanna say thank
you for sharing with us today.

415
00:37:15,345 --> 00:37:21,855
I think this is an important topic and
I think that with what you're doing,

416
00:37:21,915 --> 00:37:29,835
the book, all of your podcast speaking,
it, it is going to touch people.

417
00:37:30,225 --> 00:37:36,915
So could you let people know how to
find your book, get in touch with

418
00:37:36,915 --> 00:37:38,355
you, and get involved with you?

419
00:37:40,020 --> 00:37:46,590
Absolutely, uh, the book will be available
on Amazon beginning March 17th, Amazon

420
00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:48,930
and all the, the usual book places.

421
00:37:49,410 --> 00:37:55,320
Um, I'm presently trying to get placed
in, in Barnes and Noble, hopefully.

422
00:37:55,950 --> 00:38:01,830
But, um, unbroken caldwell,
unbroken caldwell is my website.

423
00:38:01,890 --> 00:38:06,770
It's also my social handle, I'm on
Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

424
00:38:07,580 --> 00:38:12,750
And for any of the listeners, if
you reach out to me through any

425
00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:15,480
of those mediums, I will respond.

426
00:38:15,900 --> 00:38:20,310
And I do see the submission forms
from my website, so anyone who

427
00:38:20,310 --> 00:38:25,380
wants to, to get in touch, please,
by all means, I, I am open to it.

428
00:38:25,980 --> 00:38:34,610
And I am, my book launch, I am hosting a
live stream, so Facebook live stream book

429
00:38:34,610 --> 00:38:38,000
launch on March 17th, 1:00 PM and 7:00 PM.

430
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:44,480
So just a short reading, some trivia,
some author Q and A, and, uh, free stuff.

431
00:38:44,870 --> 00:38:46,200
I'm gonna have some giveaways.

432
00:38:49,335 --> 00:38:53,720
That's always fun and you, you
know, that's, that's a good way

433
00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:55,195
to get people involved also.

434
00:38:56,355 --> 00:39:00,945
So I wanna say thank you for being
here today, and what you're doing

435
00:39:00,945 --> 00:39:03,315
is very fascinating and very needed.

436
00:39:03,555 --> 00:39:04,065
Thank you.

437
00:39:05,055 --> 00:39:06,675
Thank you, Ed, for having me.

438
00:39:06,825 --> 00:39:11,205
Again, it's a privilege to be
here with your audience, with you.

439
00:39:11,655 --> 00:39:14,235
I'm, I'm honored, I'm humbled.

440
00:39:14,685 --> 00:39:14,865
Thank you.

441
00:39:15,795 --> 00:39:22,054
Rain on Houston streets warm like
childhood memories, whispered prayers in

442
00:39:22,164 --> 00:39:24,815
tangled sheets, echoes of desperate pleas.

443
00:39:25,315 --> 00:39:29,015
Ink-stained hands trace scars
on the page, each line a battle

444
00:39:29,935 --> 00:39:33,515
fought, turning pain to righteous
rage, redemption in each thought.

445
00:39:33,515 --> 00:39:40,065
Unbroken, rising from the ash of every
fallen dream, words like lanterns

446
00:39:40,125 --> 00:39:43,004
in the dark, a guiding golden beam.

447
00:39:43,575 --> 00:39:47,025
For the wounded, tired, weak
who've lost their way back home.

448
00:39:47,745 --> 00:39:51,245
Igniting every spark until
the embers start to glow.

449
00:39:51,245 --> 00:39:55,845
Unbroken, stronger than the fall
that tried to break your spine,

450
00:39:56,565 --> 00:40:00,735
light that can't be drowned
by storms or passing time.

451
00:40:00,735 --> 00:40:10,834
Stitching gold into the seams
where all the fractures meet.

452
00:40:10,834 --> 00:40:14,324
Phoenix in our dreams with
fire beneath her wings.

453
00:40:14,324 --> 00:40:14,414
Weight

454
00:40:14,414 --> 00:40:20,254
of silence in the August heat, cicadas
hum their tune, dawn's gold thread through

455
00:40:20,254 --> 00:40:21,894
broken night arrives a moment too soon.

456
00:40:21,894 --> 00:40:23,609
Pages rustle like autumn
leaves, truth laid bare and raw.

457
00:40:23,609 --> 00:40:27,380
Hearts begin to beat again
where fear had gripped before.

458
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:44,810
Oh, the night was long but morning
comes with mercy in her hands,

459
00:40:44,839 --> 00:40:46,210
every scar becomes a roadmap
to where the healing stands.

460
00:40:46,210 --> 00:40:51,000
Unbroken, rising from the ash
of every fallen dream, words

461
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:52,879
like lanterns in the dark, a

462
00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:55,160
guiding, golden beam.

463
00:40:55,459 --> 00:41:00,359
For the wounded, tired, weak who've
lost their way back home, igniting every

464
00:41:00,359 --> 00:41:01,009
spark until the embers start to glow.

465
00:41:01,009 --> 00:41:07,079
Unbroken, stronger than the fall
that tried to break your spine,

466
00:41:07,079 --> 00:41:10,449
light that can't be drowned by

467
00:41:12,159 --> 00:41:12,469
storms or passing time.

468
00:41:12,469 --> 00:41:16,459
Stitching gold into the seams
where all the fractures meet.

469
00:41:16,879 --> 00:41:21,989
Phoenix in our dreams with
fire beneath her wings.

470
00:41:21,989 --> 00:41:26,069
Cracks let the light flood in like
rivers after rain, strength was there

471
00:41:26,229 --> 00:41:28,589
all along beneath the bruise and strain.

472
00:41:28,649 --> 00:41:32,660
From shattered pieces mosaics
form each shard a story told,

473
00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:38,400
whispered words become a song
that turns the lead to gold.

474
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,729
Through the wreckage through the sorrow,
you're still standing, see tomorrow.

475
00:41:40,729 --> 00:42:03,574
Unbroken, rising from the ash of every
fallen dream, words like lanterns

476
00:42:03,684 --> 00:42:07,494
in the dark, a guiding, golden beam.

477
00:42:07,494 --> 00:42:10,474
For the wounded, tired, weak
who've lost their way back home.

478
00:42:11,914 --> 00:42:14,754
Igniting every spark until
the embers start to glow.

479
00:42:15,224 --> 00:42:18,524
Unbroken, stronger than the
fall that tried to break

480
00:42:18,604 --> 00:42:20,634
your spine, light that can't

481
00:42:20,674 --> 00:42:21,814
be drowned by storms or passing time.

482
00:42:21,814 --> 00:42:37,190
Stitching gold into the seams
where all the fractures meet.

483
00:42:37,190 --> 00:42:41,539
Phoenix in our dreams with
fire beneath her wings.

484
00:42:41,539 --> 00:42:42,719
Unbroken, like the dawn that
paints the eastern sky, begin

485
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:43,110
again, arms wide open to

486
00:42:43,110 --> 00:42:43,420
the light.

487
00:42:43,420 --> 00:42:49,570
Through fire, flood, and years
that tried to steal your name,

488
00:42:49,570 --> 00:42:52,220
unbroken light still burns the same.