Can you feel it coming?
Something's waking up inside.
Hearts ablaze, we're standing tall breaking chains of yesterday.
Dead America finds it's voice, in the darkness, we make choice.
Truth and healing lead
the way, hearts ablaze, we're here to stay.
Rise from ashes, come what may, we're finding hope in disarray.
Today, we're speaking with Michelle Steiner.
She is a paraeducator, she has a bachelor's in community programming,
and her website, michellesmission.com.
Michelle, could you please introduce yourself and let people know a
little more about you, please?
Sure, I'd be happy to.
Uh, as you said, my name is Michelle Steiner.
I live in Pennsylvania with my husband Ron, and our two cats, Jack and Sparrow.
I am a writer, a speaker, a photographer, and a paraeducator, and I also
have a learning disability as well.
So let's start with paraeducator for people.
Some people might not understand what we're talking about there.
Could you please identify what that means for the people?
Sure.
A paraeducator is a teacher's aide.
So what I do is I work in the classroom to help students that are struggling,
I also help to assist the teacher.
Sometimes it's crowd control.
I always love to say that with my, my disability, I can help the kids
with anything except for math.
And they all will find that out very, um, shortly or they, yep.
Well, I'm the same way.
I, I don't like math much myself.
Uh, a lot of people are like that, you know, you really need that mindset for it.
So, as you were growing up, a lot of individuals told you you
can't do what you've achieved.
I, I, myself, have been told that a lot in my life, and it
stunted my growth in many ways.
How did that affect you, Michelle?
It was really difficult for me, especially during those, uh, those young years.
I can remember I had a learning support teacher who told me that I
would not be able to go to college.
And I knew that I wanted to go to college, that was something I wanted to do.
But I wasn't naive with the fact that it was going to be a challenge
for me with having that, but she didn't think I could handle that.
And she suggested that I attend a trade school.
And when I look back on some of the programs, not only did they, A, not
interest me, but some of that stuff would be harder with having my disability.
I mean, I don't think anyone would want me to cut or style somebody's hair.
I'm not able to drive, so I couldn't do the protective
services that she suggested, and I really didn't feel called to, uh,
be a health assistant or work in culinary.
Uh, most of those things would've been really difficult with having that.
So I decided that I'm going to, uh, head on to college.
And right before, I, uh, I found a program at community college that
was an early childhood program.
And I got, I had to get tested for having a learning disability all over
again to receive the accommodations I was going to need and support services.
And I've never been a great test taker all throughout my years of
school, it's just not my forte either.
And the psychiatrist who evaluated me said, Well, with your scores,
you're most likely not gonna go beyond community college.
I get to community college and there's even more stigma.
If I, uh, disability accommodations were considered cheating.
And I can remember asking for even a calculator and people would say,
Well, oh no, we use our brains, not calculators in this class.
And people thought I was getting the answers if I had a test read aloud to me.
And I also had a professor who told me that I was going to have
really limited job choices someday.
She found out I wasn't great at math and said, Okay, if the kids are doing an
art project, you're not gonna know how much paper to give out to the students.
And, well, that may be true, that's something I struggle with.
I've found strategies to be able to help myself when I do that.
And I also met people that said, Well, I don't think you're gonna
be able to, uh, get married.
People,
someone might not want you because you have a disability.
And that was true, there were a lot of people who told me that
they didn't wanna have someone, uh, a partner that was disabled.
And, and I can remember my ex breaking up with me saying that, I'm, um, I, I know
that you could drive if you really wanted to, and I'm tired of taking you places.
But despite all of those things, I was able to go to college.
I was able to get my bachelor's degree.
I had to be really careful about, uh, the, the classes that I took, that
they didn't involve a lot of math, didn't involve a lot of science,
and that I used the accommodations.
And I did end up meeting a great guy.
I met my husband unexpectedly, and he's wonderful with a lot of having that,
with having the disability and, uh, giving me rides to where I need to go.
And I, I have found the job that I love, working with kids in a school.
But that also was something that didn't quite always turn out the way I wanted
even after I graduated from university.
It, it took me a while to find that job that was disability friendly 'cause
a lot of places claimed that they were and they were anything but that.
Yeah.
You know, that's very interesting.
How, how prevalent do you think this is in our education system where people
are kind of shrugged off, if you will?
Right.
I think a lot of that, um, is the people have a lot of misconceptions on
learning, what learning disabilities are.
Uh, what one of the misconceptions a lot of people don't understand is
they think, oh, that must be, you must have some kind of rare disorder.
And that's, um, not true.
It's one in five people have a learning disability.
And a lot of times though, how a lot of education places are going is
they don't have some of the learning support classes I did as a kid.
It's, we put them in a basic class and we tell them, well, you can
do anything you put your mind to.
And for some of our kids, while that's great, we want our kids to be hard
workers, we want our children to go out and reach for the, you know, reach for
the stars in everything that they do.
But for some of those people like me, I can try as much as I would want to, I, but
I can't get math or I can't drive a car.
So it's so hard I think sometimes when we try to put people into a box and we
start telling them, oh, it's in your head, you can do anything that you wanna do.
And, and there's just gonna be some things that may not happen
the way that you expect it.
Yeah, I agree with that a lot.
You know, and
as a person that became disabled after an able-bodied life, it, it, it really is a
shocker when you have to step into this world and the treatment that you receive,
and it's really a struggle in itself.
So, you know, there's, there's got to be a better way to educate
people where they are in life.
And I think our system really obliterates a lot of the things that
true disabled people might actually need to help them achieve, and it's
like they don't wanna take the time to handle the struggle, if you will.
What's your experience with that?
I definitely think that a lot of times people don't know what to do.
I, I know when kids are in school, we always wanna get them on grade level.
We always want to get them to be able to pass that test.
And for some of our kids that may not be, it may not come in
the package that they expect.
They, their best may not be the expectations that, that the
staff has and it may not be the expectations the parents have.
But sometimes, uh, a kid really is trying and it just, it's just
not working out because we have a system that doesn't work for them.
And when people are adults when they have a disability, whether that's
something that they live with, such as that I did, or something that's
acquired that happened with you, I, I found that the system is not customized
to what the, the person really needs.
It's like they want this cookie cutter approach.
For example, I can remember right after community college,
I wanted to, uh, find a job.
And I can remember we found an agency that helped people with disabilities,
uh, to be able to get jobs.
And that's what the, the place was like, um, in theory.
But in reality I found it, they catered more to people with high
support needs that had intellectual disabilities, not learning disabilities.
And I was already working temp jobs and I can remember going in there
when I had an appointment that was taking me away from working that day
and I would sit there with one of the, the counselors and, uh, one of them
had me circle jobs in the newspaper.
And I thought, I, I can do this at home.
And I can remember they were, they would ask, I would tell 'em,
Oh, I have a job interview for maybe a more permanent place.
And they said, Oh, do you want us to go with you?
And I'm thinking, No.
I'm Capable of going to the job interview by myself.
And I wondered what was going on, uh, why was I given all these menial tasks?
And then they had an event where everybody gathered for like a career day, and I
saw a lot of the other people that they served and mostly a lot of them worked
retail jobs and some of them had Down syndrome and they had other disabilities.
And it, it dawned on me that this is the reason why they were doing all
that programming that was supporting them, which obviously that is,
things that are definitely needed, but it didn't really meet my needs.
And even my mom said, You're, you're doing a lot more better
on your own with finding jobs.
And I just think that sometimes that's a lot of the issues I find,
um, a lot of times we have this box that we wanna put a, a person with
a disability in as an employee.
We think, Okay.
Maybe you can stock shelves, maybe you can, uh, clean up at fast food,
maybe those are the jobs that, that a person with a disability can do.
And for some people that might be what they, uh, are able to do or it's
something that they, they wanna do.
But for other people, I think that there are jobs out there and it's, uh,
about trying to find those positions and breaking a lot of the barriers
that society likes to put on people.
Yeah, I agree with that a lot.
And in, in a program like that, they really need to start serving the
aspiration of the client because it's, it's about the client.
And the funds are set there for that reasoning.
So I, I myself have went through these work incentive networks and whatnot.
I've been told, I don't have time for this, and I've been told, you know, We, we
don't really ever get people where they're a hundred percent, uh, employable anymore.
And these statements to the client is devastating and it sets us back so far,
just, and, and it's like they don't give the thought who they're speaking with.
And it's like they're in a, in a lunchroom with everybody else that,
you know, just has the ability to go all out in their employment.
Not everyone's like that and so I understand, uh, a lot
that you've been through.
How does it feel to know that you do have that spot in society that you enjoy doing?
I am very grateful for the job that I do have.
I have been with my current employer for fifteen years, and I am, I
am just very grateful for that.
And I also understand though, too, that I do have that privilege that
I can walk into a job interview and people don't know I have a disability.
But the trick with that is I have the choice whether I'm going to disclose or
I'm not, but it's a double-edged sword.
I can get at the job and people don't understand, well, why can't you do math?
And that's really hard to tell people that because people look at
me and they, they presume confidence.
And I have to advocate for myself again and again and
that sometimes is really hard.
And sometimes I might be in a situation where, in, in a classroom,
where they might want me to help with math and I can't do it.
So I have to just politely advocate for myself saying, I can't do that.
Or even with the kids and say, I'm really sorry, I can't help you with the math.
And it's hard.
It, it's masking a lot of those feelings sometimes, but I, I know
that I can get through it and it's just one of those things.
Sometimes we have to do that and that, that, that can be difficult.
But there's also, then I have to remember to myself, we have, uh, uh, not everybody
with a disability is, has a job.
We have such a high rate of people that are not employed with
a disability, I've been able to overcome that, that, those numbers.
I overcame the odds of going to college, there's only ten percent of
disability, people with disabilities go to college and actually finish that.
So in a lot of ways that is definitely something that I, I really feel,
um, I'm humbled and I, I find a purpose though with, when I, with
the students I work with, because a lot of them have disabilities.
So I think sometimes coming out and saying that maybe there's some things
that I struggle with, that, that shows them it's okay to struggle with things.
It's okay not to know all the answers, but we're gonna work with
this to be able to figure that out.
I think that that's an inclusive and inviting world that you offer when you do
that, and that's, that's really what we need most of all right now in our society.
So there's all sorts of struggles out there, and if we recognize
we're all in this ship together and we all face something.
You know, even though we don't wanna admit it, we're all disabled with something.
And I've recognized that through podcasting and speaking with people and
presenting myself, with my authentic self and expressing myself without the hurt
and the shame involved in that expression.
It took me a long time to be able to do that because of the frustration
I felt with this disability.
So do you ever struggle with these frustrations and how
does that make you feel?
Definitely.
I have definitely struggled a lot with the frustrations, with people telling
me that I, I couldn't do something.
And I also struggled on that other camp where people tell me that I should be
able to do anything and it's in my head.
So I think that can be a struggle.
Uh, sometimes it, it's, just maybe a struggle, like I, I'm also diagnosed
with limited hand dexterity, so sometimes maybe opening up, um, jars
might be a struggle or opening up doors.
Those things can really be hard for me to do sometimes, and it, it can be easy
to sit there and think to yourself, Okay, why am I in this situation?
But sometimes what I look at is I always get an answer though if I ask.
I can remember I was in a classroom and there was, uh, they were asking me to
help out with math and I couldn't do it.
And I just remember looking to the heavens and wondering why am I here?
Uh, you know, this is what I'm struggling with.
And somebody told me that a child was crying and I went over and I had that
chance to be able to get on eye level with him, and I said, I know how hard
it is with math and I can't help you with it, but I, I'm able, I want you
to tell me when you're struggling so we can get you the resources that you need.
And that was something.
And that child, before I knew it, he was raising his hand.
He didn't, uh, he wasn't afraid to ask for help.
And I think that, that I can see the purpose, I can see the why.
And I think sometimes when we can see our why and we know what our, the
purpose behind it is, then that gives us that hope, that gives us that reason
that we wanna go on to be able to help.
And I think that's one of the, um, another thing that really helps me
is I get that chance to have a blog where I can write about how I'm feeling
and writing has given me that voice.
And photography is another way that I've really turned a
lot of that pain into purpose.
I, I can't drive because of my disability, and when I don't have a
ride, I get the chance, I have to walk.
And on my walks I get to see all these beautiful flowers and I have to think to
myself, I can notice details that other people will miss because I'm not driving.
And people say I bring out the details of a flower and I get that
chance to stop and smell the roses.
And I, and I just think, if I was driving a car, what are, all the details
that I would miss and all that beauty that I get to capture in my life.
Well, yeah, there's, there's a lot to it.
And you save a lot also from not driving and you help the environment
there, there's a lot to that.
So, so Michelle, you have a website, Michelle's Mission, What is your mission?
My mission is to encourage, empower, and educate people
with and without disabilities.
I have, I write a lot about my life with having a disability, and I love
to be able to compare that to nature because that's a big part of my life.
And I might talk about the process of a flower that's, um, blooming and
that's the process of me accepting my disability, or the transformation of
a butterfly, that's another thing that I, I have a passion for, and all those
different stages that a butterfly has gone through and the, and I have as well.
And I also, my, I wanna be able to educate people with and without
that, so I try to make information that is easy to understand.
But doesn't talk down to people, so somebody with a disability can read
it and think, oh, that's my story.
Or I know someone like that, or, I, that's how I think or, that's how I feel.
And I, I thought I was the only one.
And I also like it, to educate maybe somebody that doesn't have that
so a parent can maybe understand what their child's going through.
It can also be something, maybe a loved one can also understand
that with somebody or a teacher.
I just wanna be able to, and I, and I encourage people too, I wanna
encourage people with and without disabilities to follow their dreams
and to empower them because we all have things that we're, we struggle with.
But we also have things that we are good at as well.
Yes, that's, that's so true.
We all have a gift and sometimes it is so hard to find, Michelle.
So if, if you were in front of a struggling child that didn't know how
to reach out for help, what advice would you give that child seeking advice?
A lot of times what I have to do with my students is, I will tell them
if they don't know something, you need to ask your teacher for help.
And sometimes they're afraid, they're like, I don't wanna go
up there, uh, and ask for help.
I had a, a student that was absent today, uh, she was absent for a few
days and she could not do the work that was in front of her with, with
the assignment, with the information.
So I said, You really need to go up and ask for help.
And, uh, this time she didn't go up and ask, but I went up and I told the
teacher and he came over and helped her.
But a lot of times I will go up to my, my students, when they
come up to me, I'll say, you need to go ask your teacher for help.
And I'll go with them, but I want them to use their words.
Eventually they gotta use their words to say, I don't understand.
I need help, can you please help me?
And once we, we show them how to do that, it's, it's just
such a game changer for them.
They, they know that they can ask for support.
And I just think with my students, um, someday they're gonna leave
me, for so many of them, their disability is going to stay and
they need to know how to manage it.
And they need to know how to ask for support and to advocate for themselves.
Yeah, that's right.
You know, the, life is a cornucopia of events.
You, you just don't know what's in your basket until you live it,
so the struggle is always real.
How, how did you feel when you were in college and you had to get up
in front of people because you had to give, you know, your talks and
present, how did that make you feel?
I have always been great with getting up in front of people and speaking.
I, yeah, speech class was easy for me.
I think a lot of that credit was, uh, when I was growing up being part of the church.
Uh, we, our class, would have to, sometimes I would do some scripture
readings so I got, I got used to getting up in front of people.
I, I do great with, with doing that, I always felt comfortable.
I can remember when I first took a speech class, uh, some
people warned me, oh, he's, this professor's a really hard grader.
And then I got an A, I mean, on my speech, and it just, the,
the percentage just went up.
So I never had a really a problem with getting up and speaking
and presenting that, that was really never an issue for me.
And I was even in a couple plays, uh, and I, I love doing that.
My real issue that, that happens is anything, if you give me a
math problem, I can't do it.
Science is not my subject either.
And it's really difficult for me if you put a test in front of me in classes, that
was probably one of the hardest things.
I can remember, people would say, well, why?
This class is easy.
All you have to do is a midterm, a final, and a couple quizzes, and
maybe a paper or two, blah, blah.
You don't have to do any work.
And I'm thinking it's more work for me to do that than it is to write a paper,
uh, do a presentation, or a project.
So, so communication is really a strong point in your life.
Do you think that helped you through your disability, uh, pitfalls, uh,
because of your communication skill?
I think that has helped me a lot, uh, in that way.
I didn't start out like that though.
In high school I did not wanna talk about having a disability,
I just wanted to run from it.
But it's whenever I had that encouragement where people were telling me, you should
write about having a learning disability, you should go and speak on having one.
And I honestly think to myself, once I got that, I got that
courage up to just do that.
That's when a lot of that healing happened, that is when I stopped being
ashamed of having the disability, and I was all right with that.
I came to that acceptance, that and getting my bachelor's degree.
But definitely the communication helped because if I don't speak up
for myself, nobody knows what I need.
Nobody, uh, can read my mind, um, and, and be able to know that.
So it's really important for me to have those communication skills.
And it was hard to advocate at first.
I can remember my parents did a lot of that for me when I was younger.
And my mom, I remember there was a phone call where she was explaining
to somebody that I had a disability and they were fine with it.
And I thought, Oh, I really wish I could do that.
Well, when I became an adult and I moved out on my own, that's my job to do that.
And I was not always great at advocacy, I started out and I, I made a lot of
mistakes with that and it took me a while to really learn how to be an
effective self-advocate for myself.
Yeah.
I, I think it's very important to get that self-worth, that value.
You know, we, we all have something to give.
And if we find that, we find our value in society.
So it's, it's a really good thing to speak up for yourself and when,
when possible, speak up for others.
Because I think that's very important, uh, because that will help build and encourage
other people if they see that they have that advocate stepping up for them.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
I think that that's something I model, I try to model with my students
too, because they're learning.
I may not be teaching them how to do a math problem but they're learning
how to speak up for themselves.
They're learning that sometimes you got to say, I can't do something.
They're learning how to express those limits.
And so many of my, I was really lucky to have parents who, uh, just really educated
me on having a disability as well.
And I talked to so many kids, uh, I work with seventh graders who don't
know what an IEP is, they don't know about their own disability.
And I just think that sometimes there has to be that education where
kids know, this is the disability I have, this is how it impacts my life.
I don't wanna let it stop me from being a success, but I have to also understand
that these are the things that I'm going to, um, struggle with and I'm
gonna have to deal with in my life.
Yeah, that's huge.
You know, recognizing our pitfalls.
We, we can progress a lot easier.
So, Michelle, uh, what do you have in store for yourself
during the rest of your life?
What, are you just wanting to be a paraeducator the rest of your
life, or do you have aspirations to be an entrepreneurial spirit
and become something for yourself?
I would like to do both.
I would still love to work in the school, um, but I would
also love to increase my blog.
That's definitely something.
I would definitely love to sell more photography and hopefully to write a
book about my life experience someday, and to, to just be able to find a way
to be, also just to keep on helping other people and doing what I'm doing.
Yeah, that, that's so cool.
So do you have anything else you would like to add to our conversation today?
I would just like to say that, uh, Success doesn't always come in the
package that we expect, but sometimes it comes in something even better.
I like that a lot.
You know, that's, that's words of wisdom right there.
And sometimes that takes patience and if, if we're patient, it, it happens.
Just, just give yourself time.
Michelle, I have enjoyed our discussion today and I wanna say
thank you for joining us here today.
Could you tell people how to reach out, get involved with you
and how they can work with you?
Sure.
You can find me and my blog, www.michellesmission.com, and
you can also find me on Facebook, uh, and Instagram as well.
All right.
Thank you for being here, Michelle, and it, it's been
a pleasure speaking with you.
Thank you so much.
They drew their lines and made their call, said I'd be the one to fall.
But something burning in my chest, whispered failures not my rest.
Every doubt became my fuel, every, no, became my school.
I'm standing where they said I'd never be, living out what they couldn't see.
They said I couldn't, but I did, broke through the ceiling, opened it.
Invisible battles, visible wins, this is where my story
begins.
I let my truth to light the fear,
teaching kids
to fight,
to persevere.
Watch me turn the page and prove, impossible is just a word to move.
In every child I see the spark, of someone leading in the dark.
Their potential has no end, I'm not just teacher, I'm best friend.
Showing them their strengths within, this is how we rise and win.
We're standing where they said we'd never be, living out what they couldn't see.
They said I couldn't, but I did, broke through the ceiling, opened it.
Invisible battles, visible wins, this is where my story begins.
I let my truth to light the fear,
teaching kids to fight, to persevere.
Watch me turn
the
page and prove,
impossible is just a word to move.
I can fight, I can voice, you were made for more, it's your choice.
I can fight, I can voice, make the world stop, make some noise.
They said I couldn't, but I did, broke through the ceiling, opened it.
Invisible
battles, visible wins, this is where my story begins.
I let my truth to light the fear, teaching kids to fight, to persevere.
Watch me turn the page and prove, impossible is just a
word, impossible is just a word, impossible is just a word to move.
Just a word to move.