1 00:00:00,090 --> 00:00:04,920 Massimo Rigotti: But I try to get people into a five year, which is a big stretch. 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,880 A lot of people, which was really wild to me when I started working with 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:15,300 others in my program, is that they don't, most people don't look beyond 4 00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:17,070 the end of the month in a lot of cases. 5 00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:19,140 And that might even be a stretch, you know? 6 00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:59,435 Ed Watters: Today, we have Massimo Rigotti with us. 7 00:01:00,125 --> 00:01:06,395 He is a speaker, an addiction recovery advocate, and he's the author of 8 00:01:06,635 --> 00:01:09,935 Flavors of Confidence, The Sober Method. 9 00:01:11,385 --> 00:01:14,295 Massimo, could you please introduce yourself? 10 00:01:14,295 --> 00:01:17,505 Let people know just a little more about you, please. 11 00:01:19,425 --> 00:01:20,115 Massimo Rigotti: Absolutely. 12 00:01:20,115 --> 00:01:21,675 Thanks for having me today, Ed. 13 00:01:21,675 --> 00:01:25,425 Uh, it's always, uh, great to get out in front of people and, and let 14 00:01:25,425 --> 00:01:27,225 them know more about what I'm doing. 15 00:01:27,645 --> 00:01:30,750 So a little quick background on myself. 16 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:35,100 I was, uh, born in the middle of the country in Lincoln, Nebraska and, 17 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:39,450 and had quite an adventurous life that took me throughout this country. 18 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:43,470 And along the way, I managed to get myself tremendously 19 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,170 addicted to alcohol and cocaine. 20 00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:52,530 Uh, and it eventually took me down with it in a spectacular crash that 21 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:55,020 left me homeless for sixteen months, 22 00:01:55,020 --> 00:01:55,920 living on the street. 23 00:01:56,490 --> 00:02:00,960 And going from the pinnacle of success to living on the street will really wake you 24 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,620 up with where you are and who you are, and it'll also show you what you're made of. 25 00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:10,455 And when I stood up sober, I recognized that things weren't 26 00:02:10,455 --> 00:02:12,495 exactly how I wanted them to be. 27 00:02:12,555 --> 00:02:16,875 And there had to be more than just life of sobriety. 28 00:02:17,055 --> 00:02:18,465 What else was out there? 29 00:02:18,765 --> 00:02:21,285 You know, I had to find that next calling. 30 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:25,005 And instead of looking in the rear view mirror like so many people do in, in this 31 00:02:25,005 --> 00:02:29,295 circumstance, I decided that I was gonna put it 100% behind me and look forward. 32 00:02:29,745 --> 00:02:33,204 And I created my own method, which I called Flavors of Confidence. 33 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:39,704 Which, uh, is about building up yourself and reframe your life so that you're 34 00:02:39,704 --> 00:02:44,505 confident in your, in how you exist and move within your own daily life. 35 00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:49,484 If you have a, a sense of confidence and a sense of worth, your life takes 36 00:02:49,484 --> 00:02:51,315 on a whole new meaning and purpose. 37 00:02:51,315 --> 00:02:56,565 And it is transformative in it's way that it impacts others around you and 38 00:02:56,565 --> 00:02:59,115 your success breeds success around you. 39 00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:02,595 And it's just an uplifting, uh, experience. 40 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:09,960 Now in, in all of this, I was working with someone who I had met randomly 41 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,810 on a beach and uh, we came together. 42 00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:17,610 Her name was Samantha Thomas, and she was unfortunately tragically murdered 43 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:20,790 by a drunk driver in August of 2020. 44 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:25,110 She'd been encouraging me to share what I was doing, but I just kind 45 00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:28,230 of sloughed it off and said, Ah, I'll get around to it someday. 46 00:03:28,770 --> 00:03:33,450 But when that happened, it totally changed my, my purpose in life. 47 00:03:33,450 --> 00:03:38,580 And I wrote the book and I start advocating, uh, the sober method and, 48 00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:42,180 and the tools that I had created for myself, I now share with everyone. 49 00:03:42,420 --> 00:03:46,110 So that's a little bit about me and, and how I got here 50 00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:47,550 and, and why I do what I do. 51 00:03:48,210 --> 00:03:54,780 Ed Watters: I think it's amazing, most of us, it takes tragedy to wake us up. 52 00:03:55,470 --> 00:04:03,975 And it's so alarming when, when you are filled with addictive behaviors, 53 00:04:03,975 --> 00:04:12,644 as any of us, you know, recovering addicts know, you have this personality. 54 00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:19,575 Uh, I was there at nine years old and I, I started walking that. 55 00:04:19,575 --> 00:04:21,195 Yes, it's amazing. 56 00:04:21,615 --> 00:04:30,780 And my uncle got me into Alateen at about thirteen years old and it was amazing. 57 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:41,460 I, I still, you know, went my own way, did my own thing, it was part of growing up. 58 00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:47,820 But it's alarming how many people are addicted to substances. 59 00:04:50,765 --> 00:04:55,890 What, what was the most devastating part of your awakening period? 60 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:02,325 Massimo Rigotti: I think the most challenging thing for me to work 61 00:05:02,325 --> 00:05:09,344 through was just the large wake of destruction I had left behind 62 00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:15,315 me and not realized just how many lives I touched in a negative way. 63 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,905 I, I was, uh, successful. 64 00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:24,164 I, I, I guess a lot of people classify this as a, a functioning alcoholic. 65 00:05:24,255 --> 00:05:28,365 Uh, so there were many people that maybe knew I drank a little bit, but they 66 00:05:28,365 --> 00:05:32,745 didn't actually recognize or realize the fact that I was a, a true addict, 67 00:05:33,075 --> 00:05:35,355 uh, not only to alcohol, but to drugs. 68 00:05:35,685 --> 00:05:40,215 And so I masked it pretty well because it was succeed at all costs, get 69 00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:44,474 outta my way, I'm gonna destroy you, that was my kind of attitude in life. 70 00:05:44,585 --> 00:05:55,200 And after I was completely humbled by beginning to forage for food and not have 71 00:05:55,200 --> 00:06:00,539 a roof over my head, I began to look at life in an entirely different way and 72 00:06:00,539 --> 00:06:03,840 recognize, wow, I did a lot of bad things. 73 00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:09,960 Not really in, in a sense, I didn't really think that, that I had really hurt anyone. 74 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,110 I didn't, you know, physically harm anyone, but I said a lot of 75 00:06:13,110 --> 00:06:16,200 things and I did a lot of things that I could have done better. 76 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,110 And that was troubling to me. 77 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,980 That, that was the, probably the most troubling thing in my overall awakening 78 00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:29,400 was realizing that I had to go back and fix a lot of, you know, put right 79 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,560 what I once put wrong, so to speak. 80 00:06:33,344 --> 00:06:33,765 Ed Watters: Yeah. 81 00:06:33,890 --> 00:06:39,344 I, I think a lot of people, it's that guilt syndrome that we deal with. 82 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:44,159 And, and fixing that, you know, that trash in our life, 83 00:06:44,159 --> 00:06:46,289 that's a big part of recovery. 84 00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:53,190 Because even if you're going to AA and you're trying to do the program, you know, 85 00:06:53,190 --> 00:06:58,979 I witnessed so many alcoholics, and I, I was part of it, you know, we'd go to 86 00:06:58,979 --> 00:07:03,789 a meeting and then, you know, after the meeting, we'd meet at the bar and have a 87 00:07:03,789 --> 00:07:06,909 drink and talk about what we discussed. 88 00:07:07,359 --> 00:07:15,219 You know, so waking up and owning yourself is a big part of this 89 00:07:15,219 --> 00:07:23,445 journey and it's about fixing that negative self behavior, really. 90 00:07:23,505 --> 00:07:29,265 Uh, and that's owning up to your behaviors, being truthful with yourself, 91 00:07:29,625 --> 00:07:36,765 and not only owning up to it, but walking the truth into your life. 92 00:07:38,355 --> 00:07:39,705 That's hard to do. 93 00:07:40,635 --> 00:07:44,655 So, so talk about the process with us. 94 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,760 Massimo Rigotti: Well, I'm glad that you brought up something that happened 95 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,700 in your AA meetings because it's something that happened in mine as 96 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,410 well and that was troubling for me. 97 00:07:53,070 --> 00:07:56,440 I like, we'd walk out into the parking lot and then suddenly it's like, 98 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:57,570 you guys want to go get a drink? 99 00:07:57,570 --> 00:07:59,040 I'm like, Whoa, whoa. 100 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,760 Wait a second, this is completely against what I just sat through. 101 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,325 Um, yeah. 102 00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:12,045 So, uh, you know, the, the, I think part of the problem is that in the traditional, 103 00:08:12,105 --> 00:08:16,485 uh, group setting like this, is that we'd look in the rear view mirror. 104 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:22,875 And, and so we tend to have this, uh, sort of wallowing in the past, you know, 105 00:08:22,905 --> 00:08:24,555 this happened to me, this happened to me. 106 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,165 Well, you start talking about those things all the time, and I tell 107 00:08:27,165 --> 00:08:30,395 you what, in AA meetings, I'd start like, man, that was kind of fun. 108 00:08:30,395 --> 00:08:31,715 I remember when that happened. 109 00:08:31,985 --> 00:08:33,965 Man, you know, and you don't want that. 110 00:08:34,025 --> 00:08:39,545 I mean, so this is, we also have another challenge here, and then I'll answer 111 00:08:39,545 --> 00:08:44,705 your question, is that the challenge that we have is that in this particular 112 00:08:44,705 --> 00:08:51,935 small subset of mental health recovery, we are self-affirming a negative. 113 00:08:52,145 --> 00:08:56,525 We stand up in meetings and we say that we're an alcoholic, we're, I'm 114 00:08:56,525 --> 00:08:58,595 a drug addict, I'm this, I'm that. 115 00:08:59,235 --> 00:09:02,775 We don't do that in any other area of mental health, we always talk 116 00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:04,065 about the strength that we are. 117 00:09:04,125 --> 00:09:07,665 I am better than this, I am greater than this, I am not going 118 00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:09,195 to let this stand in my way. 119 00:09:09,645 --> 00:09:13,905 Why are we doing the opposite in something that is so powerful, like addiction? 120 00:09:14,445 --> 00:09:18,285 So I always encourage, and I don't even, uh, answer a question 121 00:09:18,285 --> 00:09:19,905 like, Are you an alcoholic? 122 00:09:20,025 --> 00:09:20,775 I say, No. 123 00:09:20,835 --> 00:09:21,585 Because I'm not. 124 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,235 I haven't had a drink in nine years. 125 00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:28,755 So I, I don't see myself as that, I see myself as something greater than that. 126 00:09:29,475 --> 00:09:32,925 And that is, that's ultimately what the sober method teaches. 127 00:09:33,255 --> 00:09:37,125 So the step one of sober method, and sober stands for Stoic, Observe, 128 00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:39,225 Behavior, Execute, and Restore, 129 00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:44,625 and it is a continuous improvement plan that works on your life 130 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,795 and your mind in a holistic way. 131 00:09:47,255 --> 00:09:52,335 So the, the beginning step is stoicism, so we're talking about taking a 132 00:09:52,335 --> 00:09:55,095 deep, reflective look at yourself. 133 00:09:55,460 --> 00:10:00,920 And in, in doing that, you're forced to look at some of the hard truths about 134 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:05,750 yourself to, to understand why you're doing the things that you're doing 135 00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:08,060 and what is truly important to you. 136 00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:13,400 And, and, and so the, the process starts off by, you know, 137 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,170 looking at one fundamental thing. 138 00:10:15,170 --> 00:10:18,975 I always recommend, uh, meditations by Marcus Aurelius is a good starting 139 00:10:18,975 --> 00:10:23,805 point, mainly because the barrier of entry of getting a copy is $0. 140 00:10:23,805 --> 00:10:26,985 So, you know, I don't have anyone saying, Well, how much is that gonna cost me, 141 00:10:27,045 --> 00:10:27,495 you know? 142 00:10:28,515 --> 00:10:31,575 I mean, like, if you really want, you could just Google Marcus Aurelius 143 00:10:31,575 --> 00:10:34,065 quotes and that'd be a good start for you on the internet, right? 144 00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:38,505 Uh, and, and so Marcus Aurelius is a really interesting character 145 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,375 when you think about it. 146 00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:43,560 Here's, is literally the most powerful man on earth 2000 years 147 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:48,150 ago, looking at himself in his own journal in a very personal way and 148 00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:50,160 realizing his own shortcomings. 149 00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:54,090 And most people in that, with that amount of power would never think, 150 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:56,010 I am not good enough to do this. 151 00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:58,230 I, I, I'm struggling with this. 152 00:10:58,230 --> 00:11:03,270 Most instead say, I'm the greatest person alive, you know, nobody is better than me. 153 00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:04,875 And so that's very telling. 154 00:11:05,355 --> 00:11:09,765 And if, if he could do that, then we all can do that. 155 00:11:09,975 --> 00:11:14,295 Because certainly most of us are not the most powerful person alive, right? 156 00:11:14,685 --> 00:11:21,915 So as, as you look and reflect on a specific item, uh, that, that Marcus 157 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:26,085 Aurelius's like pointed out in his own life, like thinking that, uh, you 158 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,704 know, the, something is beneath you. 159 00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:31,635 And you might look at your own life, it's like, did I ever think that 160 00:11:31,635 --> 00:11:33,314 something was beneath my station? 161 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,959 Okay, I can think of three or four things. 162 00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,160 Why did I think that? 163 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:42,569 And then dig into your own mind, what created that belief in your mind? 164 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:46,410 Oh, well this happened to me when I was four and my dad did this to me. 165 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:49,860 So then I thought from that point forward that this was the right thing. 166 00:11:50,219 --> 00:11:53,610 And you recognize, Oh, wait a second, that's connected to this other thought 167 00:11:53,610 --> 00:11:55,829 that then later I did this, which caused 168 00:11:56,430 --> 00:12:01,440 me to start treating my friends in this way. 169 00:12:01,710 --> 00:12:05,100 And then I realized that I was hurting them and then I started drinking 170 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,230 because I was, I felt bad about that. 171 00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:08,310 Oh, wow. 172 00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:11,580 I just discovered why I started, I like, I have a trigger. 173 00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:15,390 I just discovered a trigger just by going down this road of self-reflection. 174 00:12:16,305 --> 00:12:20,834 Um, and it's very powerful because we're, we're layered. 175 00:12:20,895 --> 00:12:25,935 We are so layered and, and we forget that everything that we do from the time that 176 00:12:25,935 --> 00:12:31,365 we're very small is a, is, is just laying down a framework that we operate within. 177 00:12:31,635 --> 00:12:36,584 Because we're all, uh, you know, lots of people say, Oh, humans are lazy. 178 00:12:36,795 --> 00:12:43,694 I don't necessarily like calling us lazy, I see humans as optimized for the least 179 00:12:43,694 --> 00:12:47,084 amount of power, you know, consumption. 180 00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:51,105 We want to do, we, we, it's not that we're really lazy, we wanna 181 00:12:51,105 --> 00:12:53,175 have a reserve power source, right? 182 00:12:53,175 --> 00:12:56,085 So your brain just goes, ah, I don't need to work on this. 183 00:12:56,145 --> 00:12:58,155 We, this worked last time, just do it again. 184 00:12:58,815 --> 00:13:03,615 And that is, and so when you frame up something that is negative and you lay 185 00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:07,575 down, uh, these things on top of each other, years after years, after years, 186 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:12,870 that's why it becomes so difficult to, to tear the house down and rebuild yourself. 187 00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:16,140 Um, that's what this allows you to do though. 188 00:13:16,140 --> 00:13:19,770 Because then you look at that one, and I'm talking, that's just like one minor little 189 00:13:19,770 --> 00:13:21,390 thing that I pointed out right there. 190 00:13:21,390 --> 00:13:25,050 Okay, so now I move forward and how does that impact me in my daily life? 191 00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:26,130 That's the observed step. 192 00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:31,410 So it's like, Well, okay, that impacts me in these different ways. 193 00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:35,160 What would happen if I would change that behavior just a little bit. 194 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,470 And this is like kind of playing it out in your mind. 195 00:13:37,470 --> 00:13:41,069 Like if, and, and testing it and, and what that might look like. 196 00:13:41,699 --> 00:13:44,890 Then you actually, you know, remap that behavior in the behavior 197 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:46,510 step and, and, and play it out. 198 00:13:46,510 --> 00:13:49,090 Maybe role play it, if you, if you have that ability. 199 00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:51,430 And then you go and you test, that's execute. 200 00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:54,430 So, okay, we're gonna do this differently this time. 201 00:13:54,579 --> 00:13:59,230 And when you have that, uh, ability to test and say, Oh, that worked. 202 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,370 Oh my goodness. 203 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,310 Not only was I able to figure out something that had troubled me 204 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:06,310 my entire life, I also have now 205 00:14:06,599 --> 00:14:08,980 changed my behavior and I got a different outcome. 206 00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,209 Wow. 207 00:14:10,209 --> 00:14:15,400 You know, and so you have this positive affirmation that what you discovered 208 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:20,980 about yourself and changed about yourself in near real time is going to 209 00:14:20,980 --> 00:14:22,121 have a positive impact on your life. 210 00:14:23,124 --> 00:14:26,664 And then you, if, if, if it doesn't work though, then you go back to the 211 00:14:26,664 --> 00:14:29,454 observe step and go like, Okay, well, that kind of worked, but it didn't work. 212 00:14:29,454 --> 00:14:32,184 And so you kinda like, you know, fiddle around in the kitchen 213 00:14:32,184 --> 00:14:33,354 and make a better omelet. 214 00:14:33,894 --> 00:14:36,804 And then you come out eventually in the restoration step where you, 215 00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:41,410 you reflect back and you think, Who did, who did I negatively impact 216 00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:42,760 with this behavior in my life? 217 00:14:42,910 --> 00:14:48,430 And this is your typical, in a 12 step program, where you'd be like, going back 218 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:52,569 and, and looking and, and getting the forgiveness and, and so on and so forth. 219 00:14:52,569 --> 00:14:54,340 And this is making amends basically. 220 00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:55,209 And then you start over. 221 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:58,990 Go back to stoicism, look for something else about yourself, reflect, 222 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:01,860 and, and it's, it's really wild. 223 00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:06,444 Uh, I'm on my hundred and twenty-nineth pass at this exact moment through my own 224 00:15:06,444 --> 00:15:09,685 system, and it's, it's, it's really great. 225 00:15:09,685 --> 00:15:13,194 Because each time I go back to the beginning, it's like, I feel like 226 00:15:13,194 --> 00:15:17,964 I'm getting into smaller and smaller perfection, improvement of myself. 227 00:15:18,714 --> 00:15:22,824 Uh, I don't even really recognize the person I was a decade ago now. 228 00:15:23,084 --> 00:15:27,915 It, it, it, in reading what I wrote in my journals a decade ago, 229 00:15:27,915 --> 00:15:29,415 I'm like, Who was this person? 230 00:15:29,954 --> 00:15:32,324 Um, it's really wild and it's really cool. 231 00:15:33,435 --> 00:15:33,704 Ed Watters: Yeah. 232 00:15:33,704 --> 00:15:40,274 You know, it's very interesting because that same type of system is true recovery 233 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:46,785 process from all of those mental and physical barriers that we all face. 234 00:15:47,084 --> 00:15:53,515 So, you know, I'm in my fifty-nineth year of life. 235 00:15:53,515 --> 00:15:59,844 I'm looking at that big six O mark now, and I'm really saying to 236 00:15:59,844 --> 00:16:07,765 myself, You're just now starting to feel what life is about. 237 00:16:08,829 --> 00:16:13,900 Because of the process that you just outlined for us, you know, you've 238 00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:19,510 got to go back and seek each of those disgusting moments in your 239 00:16:19,510 --> 00:16:26,589 life and discover what made you do that and how did you get through it. 240 00:16:26,829 --> 00:16:30,579 You know, it, it's a miracle that we get through some of 241 00:16:30,579 --> 00:16:32,199 the things that we go through. 242 00:16:33,130 --> 00:16:39,969 I've found myself, you know, as a teenager waking up in people's closets. 243 00:16:40,719 --> 00:16:45,490 I, I went to parties and don't even know where I am. 244 00:16:45,490 --> 00:16:50,589 And here I am, middle of the night, waking up from passing out in 245 00:16:50,589 --> 00:16:52,810 these people's bathroom closet. 246 00:16:53,589 --> 00:16:56,260 And how do I get outta here? 247 00:16:56,290 --> 00:17:02,079 And, you know, those odd feelings that we put ourselves through 248 00:17:03,054 --> 00:17:05,634 is part of Learned behavior. 249 00:17:06,505 --> 00:17:12,685 And this subconscious mind that we talk about, we really have to dig in, like you 250 00:17:12,685 --> 00:17:19,824 just explained, to figure out all of that, why we do the dirty things that we do. 251 00:17:20,154 --> 00:17:23,574 And then, that's part of the reflection. 252 00:17:23,574 --> 00:17:28,134 But you, you tout that you always wanna look forward. 253 00:17:28,824 --> 00:17:35,395 And part of looking forward is making a proper plan so we don't 254 00:17:35,395 --> 00:17:37,614 have this piss poor performance. 255 00:17:37,915 --> 00:17:41,574 The seven P principle, my cousin calls it. 256 00:17:41,814 --> 00:17:47,814 He told me proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance. 257 00:17:48,594 --> 00:17:57,205 And I really look at that now and I say, Wow, that's part of life I never 258 00:17:57,205 --> 00:18:01,255 really experienced, proper planning. 259 00:18:01,975 --> 00:18:03,955 And, and it's true. 260 00:18:03,955 --> 00:18:09,505 If we plan properly and we forget about all of the things that 261 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:16,585 we want and focus on our actual needs, our life goes a lot better. 262 00:18:17,094 --> 00:18:20,054 What is your take on that Massimo? 263 00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:21,969 Massimo Rigotti: I, I love it. 264 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:27,400 And, and one of the things that is actually in the execute step of, uh, the 265 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:32,380 sober method is looking ahead and creating a plan that you're actually following. 266 00:18:32,409 --> 00:18:38,290 And, uh, and I, I personally do it just a little bit differently because 267 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:40,360 I tend to be a very long-term thinker. 268 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:44,290 Um, so I have like twenty year goals set. 269 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:50,185 But I try to get people into a five year, which is a big stretch. 270 00:18:50,185 --> 00:18:54,114 A lot of people, which was really wild to me when I started working with 271 00:18:54,114 --> 00:19:00,565 others in my program, is that they don't, most people don't look beyond 272 00:19:00,565 --> 00:19:02,335 the end of the month in a lot of cases. 273 00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:04,465 And that might even be a stretch, you know? 274 00:19:04,465 --> 00:19:06,955 They're like, Oh, well, I don't even know what I'm gonna do on Friday. 275 00:19:06,985 --> 00:19:10,284 I'm like, it's Wednesday, you know? 276 00:19:10,284 --> 00:19:13,585 So it, it, that was a, that was an awakening for me. 277 00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:19,225 So it, I, I encourage people to look initially two years out. 278 00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,725 Where do you want to be in two years? 279 00:19:21,145 --> 00:19:23,725 Okay, now let's divide that out. 280 00:19:23,725 --> 00:19:25,735 Think about that in sections. 281 00:19:25,795 --> 00:19:29,844 In order to get to that goal, what, what would be a logical, I have to 282 00:19:29,844 --> 00:19:31,435 be here at the end of this year? 283 00:19:31,495 --> 00:19:33,654 And then you're like, Okay, that's your one year goal. 284 00:19:33,685 --> 00:19:35,154 Okay, how would I get there? 285 00:19:35,154 --> 00:19:38,395 I gotta divide that in half and I like do this whole divide in half 286 00:19:38,395 --> 00:19:42,355 thing until you're down to, this is what you have to get done this week. 287 00:19:43,105 --> 00:19:44,034 Oh, okay. 288 00:19:44,154 --> 00:19:51,235 And, and then you frame up your life into a big, long series of small, measurable 289 00:19:51,235 --> 00:19:53,065 steps that are going to get you there. 290 00:19:53,065 --> 00:19:57,925 It's kind of like looking at, uh, a, a 1% improvement plan, except 291 00:19:57,925 --> 00:19:59,514 you're doing it with your own life. 292 00:19:59,514 --> 00:20:01,855 You're like, Okay, I have to take these steps this week. 293 00:20:02,155 --> 00:20:05,875 If I complete those, then I'm gonna stay on goal. 294 00:20:06,324 --> 00:20:10,885 The other thing that is really challenging with those that come, I, I think for 295 00:20:10,885 --> 00:20:15,670 most anybody, but especially those with addiction and in recovery, is 296 00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:17,500 giving yourself a little bit of grace. 297 00:20:17,620 --> 00:20:22,779 You may not make every goal that you, you know, set out to have 298 00:20:22,779 --> 00:20:23,949 done by the end of the month. 299 00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:24,850 Well, that's okay. 300 00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:26,049 It's a little bit of a setback. 301 00:20:26,049 --> 00:20:28,299 How are you gonna course correct and, and adjust? 302 00:20:28,299 --> 00:20:31,779 You can still make the six month mark and, and understanding that 303 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,420 things happen and be okay with that. 304 00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:40,090 Uh, I, I think oftentimes those of us that have gone through addiction 305 00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:44,844 recovery is that we get, we get really down on ourselves if any little thing, 306 00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:48,775 just like it can just like knock the house of cards out from under us and, 307 00:20:48,775 --> 00:20:50,634 and then suddenly we're not able to. 308 00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:56,034 And, and that is something that is, really comes from the 309 00:20:56,034 --> 00:20:58,674 strength within the sober method. 310 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:02,485 And that's why I really like it because you're focusing so deep within yourself 311 00:21:02,485 --> 00:21:04,404 and really reframing your mind. 312 00:21:04,795 --> 00:21:09,264 That as your mind strengthens up, you realize that the little, these, these, 313 00:21:09,654 --> 00:21:14,065 these things that used to be huge, that would be, completely ruin your day. 314 00:21:15,054 --> 00:21:21,835 I mean, I mean, they seem so minute because what you, if you were on path 315 00:21:21,835 --> 00:21:25,074 and you're on target, and you have good planning, you know what your goal is, 316 00:21:25,435 --> 00:21:29,935 then all the little things around you that used to seem huge, are nothing. 317 00:21:29,935 --> 00:21:32,694 They just fall away because you stay focused on that goal. 318 00:21:32,694 --> 00:21:36,820 And if you're, if you're working towards that, it makes, it makes 319 00:21:37,030 --> 00:21:39,190 life in general much more easy. 320 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,420 I think that we spend so much of our time, uh, kind of going in 321 00:21:43,420 --> 00:21:47,050 thirty different directions and, and wondering why we don't get anywhere. 322 00:21:50,380 --> 00:21:50,739 Ed Watters: Yeah. 323 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:55,300 Well, you know, I tell my wife, When I die, put don't 324 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,489 worry about it on my headstone. 325 00:21:57,940 --> 00:22:05,514 And I really think when you figure that out, all of that garbage goes away. 326 00:22:05,514 --> 00:22:09,745 And you know, it goes into that, Keep it simple, stupid. 327 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:13,495 And one, one day at a time, one step at a time. 328 00:22:13,975 --> 00:22:19,194 And, and that is the key to a healthy lifestyle. 329 00:22:19,674 --> 00:22:27,504 And it's hard for addicts to put that mindset into place, it, it takes years. 330 00:22:27,504 --> 00:22:33,835 I've, I've, I've watched thousands of addicts and, you know, drunks 331 00:22:33,864 --> 00:22:40,375 just become nothing and die because of cirrhosis of the liver and all of 332 00:22:40,375 --> 00:22:46,375 that because they don't wanna step into that hard place of that shame and 333 00:22:46,375 --> 00:22:50,275 guilt of what we've done in the past. 334 00:22:50,634 --> 00:22:57,625 And it, it's really, it, it really keeps my mind focused more on what 335 00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:03,714 I'm doing here today with you, you know, bettering myself and letting 336 00:23:03,714 --> 00:23:08,935 people know that's watching or listening to us today, It's okay. 337 00:23:09,924 --> 00:23:11,605 You know, just keep it simple. 338 00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:16,864 And, and we're all in this together, whether we like it or not. 339 00:23:17,415 --> 00:23:24,444 So it, it's kinda like the Lord's Prayer, you know, you can only do 340 00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:33,294 so much and, you know, focus on what you can do and let the other go. 341 00:23:33,774 --> 00:23:38,395 It, it's really part of a good, balanced approach to life. 342 00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:48,549 Talk to us about your book and tell people how they can get the book when it's done. 343 00:23:49,029 --> 00:23:52,779 Uh, it, it's, it's a process to write a book. 344 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:59,350 What got you into the mindset of, Hey, I need to put this into a book 345 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,779 and this is how I'm going to do it. 346 00:24:02,739 --> 00:24:03,819 Massimo Rigotti: You aren't lying. 347 00:24:03,819 --> 00:24:08,830 I think that, uh, I think writing that, my first book was the hardest 348 00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:10,239 thing I've ever done in my life. 349 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,679 I, it, it is tough, it is very tough. 350 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:19,239 So my first book, uh, is, is Flavors of Confidence and Reflection For Those in 351 00:24:19,239 --> 00:24:23,650 Need, and that book, uh, is my life story. 352 00:24:23,679 --> 00:24:31,960 It is a reflection on my life, how I began, and, and, and my trials, 353 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:38,679 tribulations, my wild ride to success, my hard, uh, you know, fall to homelessness, 354 00:24:38,679 --> 00:24:45,049 and, and then the dramatic rise back to, honestly, being in better shape in all 355 00:24:45,049 --> 00:24:47,120 aspects of my life than I ever was before. 356 00:24:47,239 --> 00:24:49,310 And that's an amazing thing right there. 357 00:24:49,730 --> 00:24:52,339 Um, that was, that was tough. 358 00:24:52,339 --> 00:24:56,810 And the reason that it was really tough to write this, well, one, um, 359 00:24:56,899 --> 00:25:01,370 the motivation to begin writing this was the, the tragic murder of someone 360 00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:06,340 who was, you know, my rock and, and, and the closest person to me. 361 00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:10,449 And so losing Samantha, you know, being the catalyst for writing this 362 00:25:10,449 --> 00:25:16,630 book, made it so, um, it made it much more emotional than it probably 363 00:25:16,630 --> 00:25:19,449 would've been, uh, otherwise. 364 00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:23,830 Yet the exercise was tremendously cathartic because I'd always 365 00:25:23,830 --> 00:25:25,060 been a very private person. 366 00:25:25,060 --> 00:25:28,179 I didn't really want people to know the inner workings of what was going 367 00:25:28,179 --> 00:25:33,040 on inside my head and how, how I had achieved things that I had achieved. 368 00:25:33,339 --> 00:25:35,920 Um, I didn't really feel like it was anyone's business. 369 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:39,100 It's just that's my private life and you, you don't need to know anything. 370 00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:41,000 So this was tough. 371 00:25:41,089 --> 00:25:45,529 I had to open myself up in ways that I was even brought up to like, you don't tell 372 00:25:45,529 --> 00:25:47,359 people things about yourself, you know? 373 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,060 I, I don't know what type of family you were, but maybe it's also 374 00:25:50,060 --> 00:25:53,370 generational, but I, that's the, that's the generation that I was in. 375 00:25:53,370 --> 00:25:55,100 It was like, yeah, you just don't do that. 376 00:25:55,609 --> 00:25:58,770 Um, and I'm, I'm ten years behind you, so I'm forty-nine 377 00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:00,319 up for the big five O this year. 378 00:26:00,319 --> 00:26:05,690 So it's, uh, it, it's, it's, uh, it's a milestone birthday is ahead of me. 379 00:26:06,230 --> 00:26:07,250 Yeah, exactly. 380 00:26:07,730 --> 00:26:14,185 Um, And, and, and so at the end of this book, I wrap it up with, with 381 00:26:14,364 --> 00:26:19,344 what I was doing at the time, and this was like a ten step, uh, method. 382 00:26:19,614 --> 00:26:22,315 And it was just what I had been sharing with people that I saw 383 00:26:22,315 --> 00:26:24,835 at AA and it wasn't very refined. 384 00:26:24,835 --> 00:26:26,484 It was what I was doing personally. 385 00:26:27,384 --> 00:26:33,864 Um, yet releasing the book almost immediately showed me, and the book 386 00:26:33,864 --> 00:26:39,625 came out two years ago, March of 23, and almost immediately I was getting feedback. 387 00:26:39,625 --> 00:26:43,585 And as I started working with people that were trying to use it, that it was clunky. 388 00:26:43,794 --> 00:26:45,114 What step am I on? 389 00:26:45,205 --> 00:26:47,154 What am I supposed to do after this? 390 00:26:47,274 --> 00:26:52,674 Um, you know, it just, it just didn't really work well in a larger scenario. 391 00:26:52,734 --> 00:26:57,695 And so I went back to the drawing board and I thought, Okay, how 392 00:26:57,695 --> 00:27:02,074 can I make this easier and, and maybe meld it into something? 393 00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:03,995 And I was like, and what would I call it? 394 00:27:04,085 --> 00:27:06,755 I mean, I can't, I mean, Flavors of Confidence is kind 395 00:27:06,755 --> 00:27:08,495 of clunky, you know, as well. 396 00:27:08,495 --> 00:27:11,255 So I thought, Maybe it's a sober method. 397 00:27:11,855 --> 00:27:14,255 I'm like, Well, surely that's taken by somebody. 398 00:27:14,255 --> 00:27:17,074 There's no way that that can be available in 2023. 399 00:27:17,074 --> 00:27:21,304 But sure enough, it was, So I, I latched onto it right away. 400 00:27:22,299 --> 00:27:25,029 Yeah, I mean, so what do you use to get sober? 401 00:27:25,090 --> 00:27:25,929 The sober Method. 402 00:27:25,929 --> 00:27:27,670 I mean, it totally makes sense, right? 403 00:27:28,034 --> 00:27:28,255 Uh, 404 00:27:30,429 --> 00:27:34,210 uh, and so what I did then is I took my original ten steps 405 00:27:34,210 --> 00:27:36,600 and I like rolled in a couple 406 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:37,499 steps into one. 407 00:27:37,499 --> 00:27:40,709 Some, you know, like one of the steps, the behavior step, was 408 00:27:40,709 --> 00:27:42,509 always just the behavior step. 409 00:27:42,509 --> 00:27:45,389 It used to be step six, and now it's like step three. 410 00:27:45,389 --> 00:27:48,389 So, um, but it, it made it much easier. 411 00:27:48,389 --> 00:27:51,570 And then I went back to the drawing board and it, it wasn't that much longer. 412 00:27:51,570 --> 00:27:56,820 So in October, end of October of 23, I came out with The Sober Method book. 413 00:27:57,030 --> 00:28:04,445 And that's when I really began working specifically to help others understand 414 00:28:04,504 --> 00:28:05,884 that there are alternatives to AA. 415 00:28:06,725 --> 00:28:11,344 Um, and, and I think that that is so important. 416 00:28:12,574 --> 00:28:14,554 Not everything works for everyone. 417 00:28:15,124 --> 00:28:18,514 And when you, when you have, you know, you're being told that, 418 00:28:18,544 --> 00:28:21,094 Oh, this is the best thing, okay? 419 00:28:21,154 --> 00:28:22,475 And it's the most accepted thing. 420 00:28:22,475 --> 00:28:26,195 So everybody goes to NA or AA believing this is the path. 421 00:28:26,465 --> 00:28:29,149 And if it doesn't work, we're like, Well, I tried everything. 422 00:28:29,820 --> 00:28:34,020 Eh, that makes it so, I, I just so dislike when I hear that. 423 00:28:34,620 --> 00:28:40,620 And that's why I also encourage other ways to get sober that aren't my own 424 00:28:40,620 --> 00:28:44,310 method, because I recognize that, Hey, this might not be the best for you. 425 00:28:44,790 --> 00:28:48,660 But the most important thing to me is that you find yourself and your 426 00:28:48,660 --> 00:28:54,690 sobriety because you're gonna be the best possible person when you do, so. 427 00:28:56,189 --> 00:28:56,580 Ed Watters: Yeah. 428 00:28:56,610 --> 00:28:57,990 Yeah, I like that a lot. 429 00:28:58,679 --> 00:29:06,899 Uh, when, when we discover ourselves, we're just this infinitely stronger 430 00:29:06,899 --> 00:29:12,750 person and, and we can devour the world and move mountains in 431 00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:15,465 ways we never thought possible. 432 00:29:15,825 --> 00:29:22,335 And I'm still learning new things, new ways to evolve into something 433 00:29:22,395 --> 00:29:24,225 better than what I am now. 434 00:29:24,555 --> 00:29:28,575 And that's really what it's about, is evolving and keep 435 00:29:28,695 --> 00:29:30,615 that evolution happening. 436 00:29:32,264 --> 00:29:39,300 We're we're this creature of habit, but we need to be forever learners. 437 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:46,169 And, and really that means read a book and, you know, get off of, you 438 00:29:46,169 --> 00:29:52,290 know, I love YouTube and it's very informative, but, and I hate reading 439 00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:59,550 books, but we specifically set a time that is intentional for reading now. 440 00:30:00,149 --> 00:30:06,570 And it is increasingly making me a better person because I understand 441 00:30:06,570 --> 00:30:08,340 the world around me better. 442 00:30:08,940 --> 00:30:13,409 And I, I really wanna encourage the watchers and the listeners 443 00:30:13,409 --> 00:30:16,139 today to, you know, read a book. 444 00:30:16,260 --> 00:30:23,055 Start with The Sober Method because you're obviously here because you 445 00:30:23,055 --> 00:30:25,455 wanna hear something about recovery. 446 00:30:25,815 --> 00:30:28,185 And I, I think that's very important. 447 00:30:28,185 --> 00:30:36,765 We, we find ourselves in that group mentality when we go to AA meetings, 448 00:30:37,245 --> 00:30:42,105 like I said before, in the parking lot, we're going to the bar next. 449 00:30:42,375 --> 00:30:51,615 And, and when we put ourselves in an environment of woes me, I'm a drunk, 450 00:30:51,615 --> 00:30:55,245 and yeah, it, it can be very depressive. 451 00:30:55,274 --> 00:31:00,705 And in the wrong mindset, you're gonna just stay right 452 00:31:00,705 --> 00:31:03,075 there in that constant loop. 453 00:31:03,435 --> 00:31:07,004 And that's what we're trying to break is that loop, that 454 00:31:07,004 --> 00:31:10,095 cycle, that addictive behavior. 455 00:31:10,919 --> 00:31:17,070 So, yeah, I, I really encourage people, read a book and find as many methods, 456 00:31:17,429 --> 00:31:20,445 whatever works for you is the best way. 457 00:31:22,034 --> 00:31:22,485 Massimo Rigotti: Yeah. 458 00:31:22,485 --> 00:31:27,134 And I, I tell you, I love what you said just now about being a lifelong 459 00:31:27,195 --> 00:31:31,814 learner, that nothing will keep you more youthful than curiosity. 460 00:31:32,235 --> 00:31:37,064 And when, when you don't know something or you see something that's even 461 00:31:37,064 --> 00:31:39,945 remotely interesting to you, ask. 462 00:31:40,215 --> 00:31:44,655 You know, the most amazing things and, and experiences in my life have 463 00:31:44,655 --> 00:31:49,004 been when I saw or noticed somebody doing something and I walked up to 464 00:31:49,004 --> 00:31:51,104 them and was like, that's really cool. 465 00:31:51,344 --> 00:31:52,425 How does this work? 466 00:31:53,024 --> 00:31:56,955 And anybody who's doing their job, oh, they love that. 467 00:31:57,195 --> 00:31:59,534 They would, they love telling you what they do. 468 00:31:59,655 --> 00:32:04,155 Uh, mainly because, and I jokingly say this often, mainly because when they 469 00:32:04,155 --> 00:32:06,945 go home at night, the last thing their wife wants to hear is how work went. 470 00:32:06,975 --> 00:32:11,939 So they're more than happy to tell you about whatever they're doing, right? 471 00:32:12,479 --> 00:32:12,699 Uh, 472 00:32:15,770 --> 00:32:19,310 so I mean, like take advantage of that because then it 473 00:32:19,310 --> 00:32:20,600 might spark something else. 474 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,930 You're like, you know, in that explanation you might learn something 475 00:32:23,930 --> 00:32:27,560 about something else and you're like, Ooh, I wonder how that came to be. 476 00:32:27,590 --> 00:32:29,900 And then you can go down and search that out. 477 00:32:29,990 --> 00:32:33,320 And there's so, you know, there's an infinite amount of 478 00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,550 things that you don't know. 479 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:40,169 And I am in a constant quest to learn what I don't know. 480 00:32:40,169 --> 00:32:43,980 And I can spend the rest of my life and I won't even get close to 481 00:32:43,980 --> 00:32:48,120 understanding most everything, you know? 482 00:32:49,169 --> 00:32:53,669 And so that is, yes, yes, that's totally okay. 483 00:32:53,820 --> 00:32:57,389 The other thing that this does for you, especially if you're struggling with 484 00:32:57,389 --> 00:32:59,985 addiction, it gives you a new addiction. 485 00:32:59,985 --> 00:33:01,545 You can be addicted to learning. 486 00:33:04,365 --> 00:33:04,695 I mean, 487 00:33:07,335 --> 00:33:08,445 Ed Watters: Yeah, that's right. 488 00:33:08,955 --> 00:33:10,485 That, that's so true. 489 00:33:10,485 --> 00:33:13,335 You know, shift the behavior. 490 00:33:15,270 --> 00:33:15,750 Massimo Rigotti: Yeah. 491 00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:16,860 Yeah, exactly. 492 00:33:16,860 --> 00:33:22,740 I don't think that we ever truly lose that portion of who we are as addicts. 493 00:33:22,740 --> 00:33:24,720 I don't think it ever truly goes away. 494 00:33:24,990 --> 00:33:31,950 We channel it in different ways, uh, in order to take care of that 495 00:33:32,070 --> 00:33:34,080 need within our, our own mind. 496 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:38,879 Those that are, that have addiction and struggle with addiction, there 497 00:33:38,879 --> 00:33:43,530 are underlying things going on in your head that are never going to change. 498 00:33:43,530 --> 00:33:47,490 But you learn to reroute these into productive things. 499 00:33:47,970 --> 00:33:52,139 One might argue that I'm addicted to going through The Sober Method time 500 00:33:52,139 --> 00:33:56,550 after time, or that I'm addicted to learning, or that I, you know, like 501 00:33:56,700 --> 00:34:02,899 those are all aspects of utilizing what I really believe is a superpower. 502 00:34:03,229 --> 00:34:07,819 You, if you look at your addictive nature as something that you can 503 00:34:07,819 --> 00:34:13,759 harness as, think of the drive that you might undertake in order 504 00:34:13,759 --> 00:34:16,429 to remain addicted to something. 505 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:21,889 I think about all the crazy things that I did in order to just get that next drink. 506 00:34:21,889 --> 00:34:24,799 You know, like, oh, I know how I can make some money really fast. 507 00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:27,630 I mean, like, that's creativity. 508 00:34:27,750 --> 00:34:31,440 I mean, like, so if, if you can channel those things into something 509 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,120 productive, imagine what you can do. 510 00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,170 It's, it's endless. 511 00:34:34,260 --> 00:34:34,860 It's great. 512 00:34:37,779 --> 00:34:38,429 Ed Watters: That's right. 513 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,640 I, I, I'm with you a hundred percent on that. 514 00:34:42,685 --> 00:34:50,910 So, uh, Massimo, is there anything that we've missed that you wanna 515 00:34:50,910 --> 00:34:52,740 add to our conversation today? 516 00:34:54,105 --> 00:34:57,254 Massimo Rigotti: I, you know, I just would really like to add that there's 517 00:34:57,254 --> 00:35:02,654 no reason to be discouraged with, with where you are in your process of recovery. 518 00:35:03,134 --> 00:35:08,415 That if you're taking the smallest step to recognize the, that you 519 00:35:08,415 --> 00:35:13,455 need to do something and you fall down fifty times trying to stand 520 00:35:13,455 --> 00:35:15,734 up sober, that's totally okay. 521 00:35:16,274 --> 00:35:18,615 I, I, I did the same thing. 522 00:35:18,794 --> 00:35:24,254 I went through three really bad, I'm, I got it. 523 00:35:24,254 --> 00:35:24,734 I got it. 524 00:35:24,734 --> 00:35:30,165 I'm standing up and then completely fell down and destroyed what 525 00:35:30,165 --> 00:35:33,734 I had, I had, I had rebuilt in just a short number of weeks. 526 00:35:34,424 --> 00:35:37,769 It's okay, because I'm okay now. 527 00:35:37,919 --> 00:35:42,209 And the fact that you continue the drive, that's the most important thing. 528 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:47,580 Take those small measurable steps to, to bettering yourself until one 529 00:35:47,580 --> 00:35:49,649 day you're on the other side of it. 530 00:35:49,830 --> 00:35:55,709 And you'll begin to wonder how was I ever allowing this in my life? 531 00:35:55,709 --> 00:35:59,549 How was I ever allowing myself to not see clearly? 532 00:35:59,549 --> 00:36:06,135 And see the world in a way that is so much more, um, so much more beautiful and so 533 00:36:06,135 --> 00:36:14,325 much more rewarding to, to, uh, experience life without it clouded by substances. 534 00:36:14,385 --> 00:36:15,105 It really is. 535 00:36:15,105 --> 00:36:19,890 I, I, I, I don't know that you ever really truly recognize that 536 00:36:19,890 --> 00:36:21,390 until you get several years sober. 537 00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:25,440 And then you start seeing things that you, you've realized, like you experienced 538 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:29,070 something that you did when you had been, uh, drunk or high, and you're 539 00:36:29,070 --> 00:36:31,110 like, Wow, this would've been amazing. 540 00:36:32,580 --> 00:36:36,570 And, and, and it really is so cool because it affirms that, you know 541 00:36:36,570 --> 00:36:40,095 what the work, the hard work that I've been doing, It's worth it. 542 00:36:40,545 --> 00:36:41,654 And that's your reward. 543 00:36:41,955 --> 00:36:43,315 And don't give up on yourself. 544 00:36:43,435 --> 00:36:48,615 Every, anything that, that you believe is possible in life is possible 545 00:36:48,855 --> 00:36:51,525 with enough hard work and effort. 546 00:36:51,615 --> 00:36:56,130 And it doesn't have to be like full out, it just needs to be a tiny 547 00:36:56,130 --> 00:36:58,170 bit of effort every single day. 548 00:36:58,170 --> 00:37:03,750 Because consistency will beat the hardest worker every day, that's why 549 00:37:03,750 --> 00:37:05,550 The Tortoise and The Hare story exists. 550 00:37:05,550 --> 00:37:08,490 We always think about that as being like some sort of speed story, 551 00:37:08,490 --> 00:37:11,130 running fast, and it doesn't really have anything to do with that. 552 00:37:11,130 --> 00:37:12,300 If you really break it down, 553 00:37:12,330 --> 00:37:16,830 the tortoise and hare story is just about getting up and doing the bare minimum 554 00:37:16,830 --> 00:37:20,830 every day without ever not doing it as opposed to the hare where, like running 555 00:37:20,850 --> 00:37:25,134 really fast and then like, you know, having fun for five, six days and then 556 00:37:25,134 --> 00:37:27,924 the hare, you know, falls behind again. 557 00:37:28,254 --> 00:37:30,384 And you don't wanna be the hare, you wanna be the tortoise. 558 00:37:30,384 --> 00:37:34,464 It just like slowly moves and slowly gets better until one day you look 559 00:37:34,464 --> 00:37:36,564 back and like, Wow, I beat this. 560 00:37:36,564 --> 00:37:37,524 I won the race. 561 00:37:38,964 --> 00:37:40,339 Ed Watters: Yeah, I like that a lot. 562 00:37:40,854 --> 00:37:44,064 You know, and a lot of it has to do with that mindset. 563 00:37:44,274 --> 00:37:46,075 Where are you in your life? 564 00:37:46,524 --> 00:37:47,995 Who are you around? 565 00:37:48,540 --> 00:37:52,650 And there's this thing called the crab in the bucket syndrome. 566 00:37:53,340 --> 00:37:57,720 Are you around people that want you where they are? 567 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:07,615 Take a, take a shot right now in your life and figure out, Am I doing this for me or 568 00:38:09,585 --> 00:38:12,390 because I have to be here because of them? 569 00:38:13,620 --> 00:38:18,359 You know, we're all stuck in the bucket, and it is okay to get out. 570 00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:26,880 Uh, I've had a great time speaking with you today, and I would really like to 571 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,339 do this again with you at some point. 572 00:38:29,910 --> 00:38:35,250 Could you let people know how to get ahold of you and work with you? 573 00:38:35,700 --> 00:38:36,540 Massimo Rigotti: Absolutely. 574 00:38:36,540 --> 00:38:43,240 So anyone that is interested in what I do, uh, check out sobermethod.com 575 00:38:43,590 --> 00:38:48,120 or @sobermethod on all of the socials, I post daily content. 576 00:38:48,299 --> 00:38:52,830 If you go to sobermethod.com, you can connect with me, also my own website, 577 00:38:52,830 --> 00:38:55,620 massimorigotti.com, uh, as well. 578 00:38:55,620 --> 00:38:59,819 If you're interested in any private coaching, uh, which I happily do 579 00:38:59,819 --> 00:39:03,029 and enjoy, that's probably the most rewarding thing that I do at the moment. 580 00:39:03,029 --> 00:39:05,995 So, um, thank you Ed, so much for your time. 581 00:39:05,995 --> 00:39:07,134 I really enjoyed it. 582 00:39:07,134 --> 00:39:12,205 And I would love to, uh, do a deeper dive into, uh, some subsections 583 00:39:12,205 --> 00:39:13,525 of what we talked about today. 584 00:39:13,525 --> 00:39:15,924 It's been a real pleasure, uh, speaking with you. 585 00:39:15,924 --> 00:39:19,855 Thank you so much for allowing me to come on your, uh, your podcast 586 00:39:19,855 --> 00:39:21,444 and, and speak to your listeners. 587 00:39:23,464 --> 00:39:27,775 Ed Watters: Massimo, it's been a great, fantastic journey with you today. 588 00:39:27,805 --> 00:39:28,735 Thank you for being here. 589 00:39:32,580 --> 00:39:34,230 Thank you for joining us today. 590 00:39:34,890 --> 00:39:41,100 If you found this podcast enlightening, entertaining, educational in any way, 591 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:48,300 please share, like, subscribe, and join us right back here next week for another 592 00:39:48,300 --> 00:39:51,690 great episode of the Dead America Podcast. 593 00:39:51,990 --> 00:39:57,529 I'm Ed Watters, your host, enjoy your afternoon wherever you might be.