1 00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:06,779 To overcome, you must educate. 2 00:00:08,149 --> 00:00:14,219 Educate not only yourself, but educate anyone seeking to learn. 3 00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:19,610 We are all Dead America, we can all learn something. 4 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:25,000 To learn, we must challenge what we already understand. 5 00:00:25,990 --> 00:00:29,360 The way we do that is through conversation. 6 00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:37,940 Sometimes we have conversations with others, however, some of the best 7 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,070 conversations happen with ourselves. 8 00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:49,680 Reach out and challenge yourself; let's dive in and learn something new right now. 9 00:00:54,144 --> 00:00:59,045 Today, we have a different sort of episode for you. 10 00:00:59,394 --> 00:01:05,545 It is not our regular day, nor is it our regular format. 11 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:13,630 I am especially excited today because today I have with me my wife, Theresa. 12 00:01:14,070 --> 00:01:15,350 Theresa, can you say hi? 13 00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:16,430 Hello. 14 00:01:17,370 --> 00:01:18,020 All right. 15 00:01:18,580 --> 00:01:26,420 Now, today we are presenting an episode in conjunction with Podcasthon. 16 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:34,770 And we chose the non profit organization to support, RAINN. 17 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,380 Let me highlight you on RAINN's mission. 18 00:01:39,410 --> 00:01:47,350 RAINN is an acronym, stands for Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network. 19 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:54,650 RAINN is the nation's largest anti sexual violence organization. 20 00:01:55,930 --> 00:02:00,910 RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline. 21 00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:07,745 You can reach them twenty-four hours a day at 1-800- 656-HOPE. 22 00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:10,979 That's 4673. 23 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:25,269 1-800-656-4673. You can also chat with them online at rainn, R, A, I, N, N .org. 24 00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:33,040 In partnership with more than 1, 000 local sexual assault service providers across 25 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:40,189 the country and operates the DOD Safe Helpline for the Department of Defense. 26 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:46,320 RAINN also carries out programs to prevent sexual violence, 27 00:02:46,879 --> 00:02:53,019 help survivors, and ensure that perpetrators are brought to justice. 28 00:02:53,934 --> 00:02:59,964 This is why we, as a couple, chose to come together to 29 00:02:59,964 --> 00:03:04,144 support RAINN during Podcasthon. 30 00:03:04,804 --> 00:03:09,944 Without further ado, let's get into today's episode. 31 00:03:11,144 --> 00:03:17,194 Every sixty-eight seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. 32 00:03:17,944 --> 00:03:22,515 And every nine minutes, that victim is a child. 33 00:03:23,390 --> 00:03:31,709 Meanwhile, only 25 out of every 1, 000 perpetrators will end up in prison. 34 00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:35,439 Do we see something wrong with that? 35 00:03:36,519 --> 00:03:42,929 Every day, hundreds of Americans are affected by sexual violence. 36 00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:50,849 This doesn't just mean the victim, I'm talking ripple effect. 37 00:03:51,845 --> 00:03:58,304 And this can carry on forever, generation after generation. 38 00:03:59,225 --> 00:04:06,044 And as long as nobody is willing to stand up and really look at the scope 39 00:04:06,054 --> 00:04:14,425 of this problem, victims of sexual violence, child and teen victims, 40 00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:18,860 they will continue to be harmed. 41 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:24,320 And generations to come will be affected by that harm. 42 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:37,500 My wife, Theresa, she went through major assaults as a child. 43 00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:47,350 And I can say after many, many years of struggling, we are finally 44 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:54,720 starting to get a grip on the problems that we face as a couple. 45 00:04:55,930 --> 00:05:03,749 Not only because of her sexual predator, but my own. 46 00:05:05,699 --> 00:05:15,239 I faced sexual predators of my own, my family, and outside of the family. 47 00:05:16,909 --> 00:05:17,649 Theresa, 48 00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:30,450 how did it make you feel all of those years because of your sexual predator? 49 00:05:32,309 --> 00:05:40,780 Angry, hurt, humiliated, kind of, they make you want to feel like you're the 50 00:05:40,780 --> 00:05:46,460 only one that it's happening to, so you don't want to speak out to anybody. 51 00:05:47,030 --> 00:05:53,735 Or else, or else they intimidate you and make you afraid to speak out. 52 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,785 So when we met, 53 00:06:00,585 --> 00:06:04,774 we kind of had an idea of what each other went through. 54 00:06:04,775 --> 00:06:11,544 But all those years, there was this closet effect with us. 55 00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:17,685 And we really didn't communicate effectively about our problems. 56 00:06:17,685 --> 00:06:24,160 And that really escalated into some bad times for us. 57 00:06:26,890 --> 00:06:27,410 What 58 00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:37,520 did it make you feel like when I was part of those problems? 59 00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:44,510 Well, I guess I'd say confused. 60 00:06:45,419 --> 00:06:51,979 I felt like maybe I was unlovable and that you didn't love me because 61 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:57,550 my dad gave me the message that nobody was ever going to love me. 62 00:06:57,710 --> 00:07:02,950 So that created a lot of confusion and contention 63 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:10,979 because I was thinking the things that you were doing were because 64 00:07:10,979 --> 00:07:13,420 it was something I was doing. 65 00:07:17,259 --> 00:07:18,869 Yeah, that's big right there. 66 00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:27,525 You know that, because that was also in my mind with what I was going through. 67 00:07:28,085 --> 00:07:34,835 And I did not realize that until, heck, we were in our fifties at that point in time. 68 00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:41,775 And that's when I really started understanding deeper into, not 69 00:07:41,775 --> 00:07:45,975 only your problems, because I was avoiding my own at the same 70 00:07:46,005 --> 00:07:50,895 time, kind of, I guess I would say 71 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:59,095 trying to avoid them, because of what we've learned now about 72 00:07:59,155 --> 00:08:05,575 that shame/guilt association with problems that we go through. 73 00:08:06,825 --> 00:08:09,304 So I, I really think that's big. 74 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:16,335 You know, after going through all of that, do you think there's a better way that we 75 00:08:16,335 --> 00:08:24,915 could have communicated with each other about what was happening in our life? 76 00:08:26,525 --> 00:08:27,125 Yeah. 77 00:08:27,195 --> 00:08:30,334 Um, I think the biggest thing was 78 00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:38,734 fear because we were afraid of what each other would think about 79 00:08:38,734 --> 00:08:45,954 us if we opened up and talked about what happened with us and, 80 00:08:45,955 --> 00:08:51,365 losing family members and things like that because of how we 81 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:54,235 felt and how we understood. 82 00:08:54,665 --> 00:09:02,675 Yeah, I guess, and a lot of it was not knowing how to communicate it properly. 83 00:09:03,254 --> 00:09:07,825 I mean, you get so much anger and confusion, you tend to just want to 84 00:09:07,825 --> 00:09:13,795 lash out instead of slow down and think about what you want to say. 85 00:09:14,175 --> 00:09:21,045 That was big because, you know, that puts you kind of in that repetitive 86 00:09:21,045 --> 00:09:27,395 loop and you only get so far in the conversation and then it collapses. 87 00:09:28,645 --> 00:09:37,790 So we, we spent years in that cycle and understanding how to get out 88 00:09:37,790 --> 00:09:40,599 of it wasn't easy for either of us. 89 00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:47,524 Because we found no help anywhere to explain these things in any way. 90 00:09:48,915 --> 00:09:53,835 I'm really glad that you got into podcasting because through your 91 00:09:53,865 --> 00:10:01,764 podcasting, you was able to speak with some psychologists and counselors and 92 00:10:02,954 --> 00:10:09,415 find some good self help books that we ordered and we've been going through. 93 00:10:09,905 --> 00:10:16,145 And it's been helping us to identify our feelings and emotions and to 94 00:10:16,145 --> 00:10:22,915 be able to speak about the things that we've went through without, 95 00:10:23,714 --> 00:10:26,224 you know, a bunch of embarrassment. 96 00:10:27,214 --> 00:10:35,955 And more understanding about what it is that we went through and how our families 97 00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:39,085 affected the way we felt about ourselves. 98 00:10:39,955 --> 00:10:46,275 Yeah, not only our families, but everything and everyone around us. 99 00:10:46,764 --> 00:10:49,604 That brings up my muddy shoe, of course. 100 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:59,375 You know, life is like a muddy trail and people, places, and things in our life, 101 00:11:00,614 --> 00:11:02,984 that's the mud that we're walking through. 102 00:11:03,944 --> 00:11:08,045 And that can get very heavy because sometimes we don't 103 00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:09,334 know how to deal with it. 104 00:11:09,774 --> 00:11:16,354 Well, just like if you're on a muddy trail, there's rocks and tree branches 105 00:11:16,354 --> 00:11:18,795 that you can wipe that mud off. 106 00:11:19,214 --> 00:11:24,535 And really, we found out wiping that mud off, making it lighter 107 00:11:24,564 --> 00:11:31,080 and easier to walk the mud, it, it really does make a difference. 108 00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:33,940 So in essence, what we're dealing with is 109 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:43,530 finding out it's okay to let people, places, and things go. 110 00:11:43,849 --> 00:11:50,879 We get bound up in these things and it can really make our personal life a struggle 111 00:11:50,879 --> 00:12:01,650 because we really looked at all of that stuff as guidance because we don't know. 112 00:12:01,650 --> 00:12:03,950 There's not a manual for any of this. 113 00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:13,740 And, and, you know, when you go through these 114 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:26,430 sexual assaults and sexual immoralities, all of these things that really hurt 115 00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:37,819 because you don't feel that the people closest to you should treat us that way. 116 00:12:39,255 --> 00:12:41,985 But through our walk, we've found that 117 00:12:44,005 --> 00:12:46,945 people are only doing what people do. 118 00:12:47,495 --> 00:12:50,495 And you know, sometimes 119 00:12:52,675 --> 00:12:59,615 it's, it's your choice whether you forgive them or let them go for a while. 120 00:13:00,835 --> 00:13:06,715 Uh, it's really interesting the walk that you have to do to help 121 00:13:07,255 --> 00:13:09,745 recover after sexual assault. 122 00:13:10,515 --> 00:13:15,945 Well, personally, you know, throughout my childhood, it was always pushed 123 00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:21,595 on me, you know, expected of me that oh, you should forgive. 124 00:13:21,595 --> 00:13:29,844 And, you know, it's okay if you don't want to be around, especially if they're 125 00:13:29,844 --> 00:13:34,314 a family member, if you don't want to be around them, you don't have to be. 126 00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:37,985 And it's okay to not have them in your life. 127 00:13:38,725 --> 00:13:46,105 And to me, forgiveness isn't something that can be expected of 128 00:13:46,105 --> 00:13:48,955 you or make you feel guilty about. 129 00:13:49,984 --> 00:13:55,155 It is something for you to, to come to a place where you can just 130 00:13:55,405 --> 00:14:03,034 let it go and live your life as happy as possible that you can. 131 00:14:05,754 --> 00:14:07,314 Yeah, that's big right there. 132 00:14:07,824 --> 00:14:10,745 You know, because it is ultimately your choice. 133 00:14:11,525 --> 00:14:16,045 And that's your power right there against the perpetrator. 134 00:14:17,064 --> 00:14:20,354 You, you feel stuck. 135 00:14:20,354 --> 00:14:28,884 I mean, really, because finances or whatever, there's always something 136 00:14:29,284 --> 00:14:35,905 that makes you get into that Stockholm Syndrome type thing where 137 00:14:36,365 --> 00:14:38,425 you feel like you have to be there. 138 00:14:38,475 --> 00:14:45,915 And that's not the case at all once you empower yourself with your own choice. 139 00:14:47,479 --> 00:14:51,030 Like with me and you, I don't make your choices, you have 140 00:14:51,030 --> 00:14:52,949 to make your own choices. 141 00:14:53,710 --> 00:15:00,299 But we found out that those choices that you make, you have to actually 142 00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:04,519 live up to and be accountable for. 143 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:07,260 And that goes for me too. 144 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:14,080 You know, once you step into that ownership position of, no, this is 145 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:19,180 my life and only I can drive the bus. 146 00:15:20,285 --> 00:15:26,625 And this is a good time to, you know, throw that Drive 147 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:29,955 Your Own Darn Bus by Julia out. 148 00:15:30,844 --> 00:15:37,535 And, you know, we will actually throw a link to that in the 149 00:15:37,544 --> 00:15:40,204 show notes for today's episode. 150 00:15:41,164 --> 00:15:47,675 Because this is one of the big things that helped us understand 151 00:15:47,765 --> 00:15:49,594 getting into that driver's seat. 152 00:15:49,795 --> 00:15:51,014 Especially you. 153 00:15:52,025 --> 00:15:59,955 You know, because this is a gal that took time to really outline those, 154 00:16:00,015 --> 00:16:01,835 those things that are important. 155 00:16:03,035 --> 00:16:12,895 So how important were those books and even the podcasts that we listened to? 156 00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:18,405 Well, speaking of books, another good one is called The 157 00:16:18,405 --> 00:16:20,775 Courage to Heal by Laura Davis. 158 00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:25,040 And if you want you can put a link to that one too. 159 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:25,160 Yep. 160 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:26,980 And 161 00:16:29,180 --> 00:16:34,470 I find them really important because they taught me a lot of stuff 162 00:16:34,530 --> 00:16:41,170 about dealing with triggers, and dealing with emotions, and how to 163 00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:45,560 communicate them appropriately, and 164 00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:50,540 how to just take care of yourself. 165 00:16:54,810 --> 00:17:00,839 And like I said, the podcasts were really helpful because they helped us 166 00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:03,969 to find and learn about these books. 167 00:17:04,909 --> 00:17:16,360 Yeah, you know, when I started the podcast, I was still so angry about 168 00:17:16,715 --> 00:17:18,965 everything that happened to me. 169 00:17:19,445 --> 00:17:24,875 You know, not only my injury, but losing my mother, and, you know, 170 00:17:24,875 --> 00:17:29,215 losing like my manhood, I felt. 171 00:17:29,485 --> 00:17:37,344 I, I, I just felt that everything I had to give was, you know, tied up 172 00:17:37,344 --> 00:17:45,735 into fixing things and going to work and being that head of maintenance. 173 00:17:45,735 --> 00:17:51,929 And then when I lost it all, it was, it really put me through turmoil. 174 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:53,580 So, 175 00:17:55,990 --> 00:18:02,729 you know, podcasting really helped me release and figure out that 176 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,870 we're not alone in any of this. 177 00:18:07,429 --> 00:18:15,790 Not only was I going through, you know, the issues with my own life, I was still 178 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:24,295 dealing with the responsibility for you and my leadership role in our family. 179 00:18:25,324 --> 00:18:30,435 And not understanding how I was going to be able to provide that is huge. 180 00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:40,835 But yet I take that particular time as the moment I was crushed into rubble. 181 00:18:41,915 --> 00:18:51,759 And then God started putting in His mix to create that solid foundation where 182 00:18:51,759 --> 00:19:04,859 I can now stand on truth and logic and really understand, my position is much 183 00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:09,330 less than what I really thought it was. 184 00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:17,395 And I, I think if people understand that they have to give some things up 185 00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:24,034 to achieve happiness, it's really big. 186 00:19:25,435 --> 00:19:33,485 Now with all of that being said, our struggles and our 187 00:19:33,485 --> 00:19:36,155 life has been filled with this 188 00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,135 sexual, 189 00:19:43,955 --> 00:19:46,705 I don't even know what to call it, 190 00:19:48,014 --> 00:19:48,685 Dysfunction? 191 00:19:48,764 --> 00:19:49,935 Dysfunction. 192 00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:51,844 That's a good word for it. 193 00:19:52,565 --> 00:20:02,045 You know, because we didn't know half as much as, not even a quarter of 194 00:20:02,045 --> 00:20:03,995 the amount that we thought we knew. 195 00:20:04,514 --> 00:20:12,355 And when we were seventeen and ready to dive into life together, that, 196 00:20:13,665 --> 00:20:22,215 that was a big part of stepping out of that old troubled life. 197 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:31,614 And we put expectations on our new life before we even knew who and what we were. 198 00:20:32,654 --> 00:20:33,205 So 199 00:20:36,025 --> 00:20:46,350 why I highlight that is because of the ripple effect in the sexual assault and 200 00:20:46,429 --> 00:20:49,090 violence, especially against children. 201 00:20:51,190 --> 00:20:58,690 We, we could carry on and give so many stories about this, but I 202 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:04,110 really think that it's important to highlight what RAINN does and 203 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:10,705 some of the definitions that are related to a lot of this dysfunction. 204 00:21:12,295 --> 00:21:17,935 So let's take some time here, unless you have anything else to add at this time. 205 00:21:18,834 --> 00:21:19,314 No. 206 00:21:20,595 --> 00:21:20,995 OK. 207 00:21:21,244 --> 00:21:31,804 So let's take and look at some of this, the types of sexual violence. 208 00:21:34,444 --> 00:21:43,335 All of this can be found on rainn.org, that's R, A, I, N, N.org. 209 00:21:44,464 --> 00:21:52,799 The website that they have is very informative and it is loaded with 210 00:21:52,799 --> 00:22:00,699 resources and information to help you combat the sexual violence in your world. 211 00:22:01,749 --> 00:22:09,330 The term sexual violence is an all encompassing, non legal term 212 00:22:09,340 --> 00:22:15,779 that refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse. 213 00:22:17,245 --> 00:22:22,855 Many of these crimes are described below and we're going to look 214 00:22:22,855 --> 00:22:26,164 at a few of these in detail. 215 00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,435 Number one, sexual assault. 216 00:22:31,395 --> 00:22:34,795 Number two, child sexual abuse. 217 00:22:35,594 --> 00:22:39,735 Three, sexual assault of men and boys. 218 00:22:41,235 --> 00:22:46,194 Number four, Intimate partner sexual violence. 219 00:22:46,745 --> 00:22:49,295 Number five, incest. 220 00:22:49,904 --> 00:22:54,545 Number six, drug facilitated sexual assault. 221 00:22:57,205 --> 00:23:00,205 So, let's dive in and look at some of those. 222 00:23:01,024 --> 00:23:03,085 First, sexual assault. 223 00:23:06,065 --> 00:23:09,475 Sexual assault can take many different forms. 224 00:23:09,875 --> 00:23:14,764 But one thing remains the same, it's never the victim's fault. 225 00:23:15,955 --> 00:23:22,134 That's so true, as we found out, because that, you know, can 226 00:23:22,145 --> 00:23:26,335 sometimes make people feel that there's something wrong with them. 227 00:23:27,605 --> 00:23:27,984 Yeah. 228 00:23:28,894 --> 00:23:36,214 Some people have a lot of guilt and or shame, and it keeps them 229 00:23:36,254 --> 00:23:37,854 from wanting to talk about it. 230 00:23:38,279 --> 00:23:47,380 And even, they feel guilt because they're afraid, like, it might split their parents 231 00:23:47,429 --> 00:23:49,840 up and they might get the blame, or 232 00:23:50,529 --> 00:23:51,020 Big one. 233 00:23:52,250 --> 00:23:56,229 you know, or they did something to cause it. 234 00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:58,510 And 235 00:24:00,534 --> 00:24:06,725 these people need to know that, you know, they did not do anything 236 00:24:06,735 --> 00:24:09,054 to cause what happened to them. 237 00:24:10,355 --> 00:24:12,875 You know, and to even carry that further, 238 00:24:14,945 --> 00:24:23,034 I, I have questions about the mentality of the perpetrators. 239 00:24:23,454 --> 00:24:31,675 And, you know, it's definite in our experience that 240 00:24:34,555 --> 00:24:39,605 it really felt malicious in many ways. 241 00:24:40,435 --> 00:24:48,990 How your perpetrator kind of came against us after we got married 242 00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:57,690 and you were out of the house, you know, the, the vile tactics just 243 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,949 kept coming instead of support. 244 00:25:03,739 --> 00:25:07,690 We got shamed, and, uh, 245 00:25:07,719 --> 00:25:07,889 Judged. 246 00:25:09,179 --> 00:25:12,659 judged, and mocked, ridiculed. 247 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:21,199 It, it, it really is a point in time that is confusing. 248 00:25:21,229 --> 00:25:31,019 And, you know, being young and getting married, for that to happen, 249 00:25:32,409 --> 00:25:39,560 it was just very confusing and conflicting in many ways because 250 00:25:42,015 --> 00:25:48,835 being young, you know, some of that blame went on to you because it was your family. 251 00:25:49,715 --> 00:26:00,965 You know, and that, that was really wrong for me to think because, you know, you had 252 00:26:00,965 --> 00:26:04,995 nothing to do with what they were doing. 253 00:26:05,415 --> 00:26:09,155 But I didn't have that. 254 00:26:10,630 --> 00:26:12,980 Just kind of felt stuck because 255 00:26:15,890 --> 00:26:22,830 I continued to let it happen, so in a way you felt like you had to continue to let 256 00:26:22,830 --> 00:26:29,260 it happen because you didn't want to cause a rift and then cause me to be angry. 257 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:35,160 But you know, that's when I figured out, you know, it's not wrong to 258 00:26:35,190 --> 00:26:41,595 separate you from, separate yourself from someone who's causing you harm 259 00:26:43,095 --> 00:26:52,575 so you can feel safe and protected and have peace and calm in your own family. 260 00:26:53,984 --> 00:26:57,395 I mean, you don't have to put yourself through that hurt just 261 00:26:57,405 --> 00:26:59,545 because they are a family member. 262 00:27:00,015 --> 00:27:05,245 And that's good advice because it took you until you were in your fifties 263 00:27:06,285 --> 00:27:06,805 Yeah. 264 00:27:06,905 --> 00:27:08,285 to figure that out. 265 00:27:09,535 --> 00:27:11,005 And, you know, 266 00:27:13,015 --> 00:27:20,094 trying to figure out how to help you see that, was very frustrating. 267 00:27:21,345 --> 00:27:26,535 Well, that goes into, well, this person claimed, 268 00:27:30,145 --> 00:27:35,254 after all the abuse happened, they decide, oh, they're a Christian. 269 00:27:35,485 --> 00:27:42,814 And there was a lot of guilt placed on me about forgiving. 270 00:27:43,185 --> 00:27:46,184 Oh, you're not a good person if you don't forgive. 271 00:27:46,244 --> 00:27:49,054 And you'll go to hell if you don't forgive. 272 00:27:49,294 --> 00:27:54,304 And that's why I was saying, Forgiveness can't be expected 273 00:27:54,304 --> 00:27:58,059 or, put a lot of guilt on you. 274 00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:05,139 You have to be able to heal and come to a place of forgiveness on your own. 275 00:28:06,199 --> 00:28:11,169 Yeah, you can never tell when the forgiveness is going to happen. 276 00:28:11,839 --> 00:28:17,059 So you really just have to heal yourself. 277 00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:22,919 It's not up to other people to make you happy, you have to do that yourself. 278 00:28:23,399 --> 00:28:29,254 We've made a poster to hang on your wall to remind you of that. 279 00:28:30,124 --> 00:28:34,534 So let's get back into the list. 280 00:28:35,124 --> 00:28:39,234 Uh, it says, what is sexual assault? 281 00:28:39,234 --> 00:28:40,705 I think this is good here. 282 00:28:41,165 --> 00:28:49,834 The term sexual assault refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs 283 00:28:49,844 --> 00:28:53,655 without explicit consent of the victim. 284 00:28:54,485 --> 00:29:04,044 Some forms of sexual assault include, but not limited to, attempted rape, fondling 285 00:29:04,064 --> 00:29:13,024 or unwanted sexual touching, forcing a victim to perform sexual acts such as oral 286 00:29:13,024 --> 00:29:17,665 sex or penetrating the perpetrator's body. 287 00:29:19,605 --> 00:29:24,034 Penetration of the victim's body, also known as rape. 288 00:29:24,965 --> 00:29:28,014 And I want to add to that a little bit. 289 00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:35,085 I think that just the gesture of calling out, you know, it's 290 00:29:35,085 --> 00:29:37,514 called cat calling, I think. 291 00:29:38,085 --> 00:29:42,475 You know, and men and women do it now. 292 00:29:42,475 --> 00:29:48,524 It, it, where they just think that it's alright to, Hey, that's some fine 293 00:29:48,544 --> 00:29:51,504 ass, or something like that, you know? 294 00:29:51,844 --> 00:30:01,339 That also should be considered sexual abuse or sexual assault, 295 00:30:02,199 --> 00:30:08,599 you know, it's unwanted and it's a sexual gesture towards someone. 296 00:30:08,949 --> 00:30:15,169 So once we start really diving in, we can actually understand 297 00:30:16,679 --> 00:30:24,859 you have to control how you think, act, and feel in this world today. 298 00:30:26,379 --> 00:30:30,659 Uh, next, child sexual abuse. 299 00:30:32,049 --> 00:30:37,109 When a perpetrator intentionally harms a minor physically, 300 00:30:38,114 --> 00:30:42,754 psychologically, sexually, or by acts of neglect, the 301 00:30:42,754 --> 00:30:45,704 crime is known as child abuse. 302 00:30:47,974 --> 00:30:51,334 What is child sexual abuse? 303 00:30:52,404 --> 00:30:57,735 Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse that includes 304 00:30:58,354 --> 00:31:01,184 sexual activity with a minor. 305 00:31:02,164 --> 00:31:07,844 A child cannot consent to any form of sexual activity, period. 306 00:31:08,494 --> 00:31:13,579 When a perpetrator engages with a child this way, they are committing 307 00:31:13,579 --> 00:31:19,329 a crime that can have lasting effects on the victim for years. 308 00:31:20,209 --> 00:31:25,919 Child sexual abuse does not need to include physical contact 309 00:31:26,159 --> 00:31:29,279 between a perpetrator and a child. 310 00:31:29,929 --> 00:31:38,599 Some forms of child sexual abuse include, but are not limited to, exhibitionism, or 311 00:31:38,609 --> 00:31:43,429 exposing oneself to a minor, fondling, 312 00:31:44,229 --> 00:31:49,309 intercourse, masturbation in the presence of a minor or 313 00:31:49,319 --> 00:31:52,169 forcing the minor to masturbate. 314 00:31:53,099 --> 00:32:00,799 Obscene conversations, phone calls, text messages, or digital interaction. 315 00:32:02,079 --> 00:32:09,559 Producing, owning, or sharing pornographic images or movies of a child. 316 00:32:11,629 --> 00:32:17,259 Sex of any kind with a minor including vaginal, oral, or anal. 317 00:32:18,714 --> 00:32:26,624 Sex trafficking, any other contact of sexual nature that involves a minor. 318 00:32:28,644 --> 00:32:33,834 And the page goes on, and I think this is really important to highlight. 319 00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:40,294 What do perpetrators of child sexual abuse look like? 320 00:32:41,804 --> 00:32:42,964 That's pretty easy. 321 00:32:42,964 --> 00:32:50,374 You can't really tell, you know, but there is a lot of 322 00:32:50,374 --> 00:32:53,084 information here that outlines it. 323 00:32:56,259 --> 00:33:00,079 So again, we are on rainn.org. 324 00:33:00,469 --> 00:33:03,589 R, A, I, N, N.org. 325 00:33:04,079 --> 00:33:12,129 And we are sharing information about sexual abuse and rape, these 326 00:33:12,419 --> 00:33:16,929 violent things that happen to us. 327 00:33:18,079 --> 00:33:19,109 Let's carry on. 328 00:33:19,359 --> 00:33:22,949 Sexual assault of men and boys. 329 00:33:24,369 --> 00:33:27,799 Sexual assault can happen to anyone. 330 00:33:28,229 --> 00:33:34,319 Men and boys who have been sexually assaulted or abused may have many of 331 00:33:34,329 --> 00:33:40,369 the same feelings and reactions as other survivors of sexual assault, 332 00:33:40,949 --> 00:33:46,329 but they may also face some additional challenges because of social attitudes 333 00:33:46,579 --> 00:33:50,659 and stereotypes about men and masculinity. 334 00:33:51,509 --> 00:33:59,039 I can tell you this is big and just like any other of that shame, guilt, 335 00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:04,199 men are subject to that same feeling. 336 00:34:05,229 --> 00:34:12,759 But I really feel that it's much harder for us to just come to grasp 337 00:34:12,819 --> 00:34:16,179 with what has actually happened to us. 338 00:34:16,689 --> 00:34:18,719 And that's my own opinion. 339 00:34:18,739 --> 00:34:25,399 I don't want to under play any abuse, especially to children. 340 00:34:26,619 --> 00:34:33,869 But just by nature and that masculinity profile stereotyping, 341 00:34:34,649 --> 00:34:37,899 it does have this weight to it. 342 00:34:39,289 --> 00:34:48,789 And I'm sure any sort of rape does, but I think more men really need 343 00:34:48,869 --> 00:34:57,749 to stand up and highlight their history with this type of abuse. 344 00:34:58,059 --> 00:35:07,824 I think it can help other men and boys come out of the hurt and 345 00:35:08,284 --> 00:35:11,754 hate that this can really cause. 346 00:35:12,684 --> 00:35:20,054 There's a lot of information on RAINN about this and, you know, it also says 347 00:35:20,064 --> 00:35:26,034 the same thing, who are the perpetrators of sexual assault against men and boys? 348 00:35:27,619 --> 00:35:34,909 Well, over ninety percent of children and teen survivors know the perpetrator 349 00:35:34,919 --> 00:35:36,989 who abused or assaulted them. 350 00:35:37,769 --> 00:35:44,069 Among adult survivors of rape, eighty percent know the perpetrator. 351 00:35:45,304 --> 00:35:50,524 Sexual offenders may use physical force or coercion tactics 352 00:35:50,644 --> 00:35:53,174 to facilitate their crimes. 353 00:35:53,604 --> 00:35:59,724 The next up is, intimate partner sexual violence. 354 00:36:01,609 --> 00:36:10,179 Sexual violence most often is perpetrated by someone a survivor knows, and this 355 00:36:10,179 --> 00:36:13,429 includes intimate partner relationships. 356 00:36:13,839 --> 00:36:18,479 There are many different terms to refer to sexual violence that occurs 357 00:36:18,729 --> 00:36:25,019 within intimate partnerships, including intimate partner sexual violence, 358 00:36:25,699 --> 00:36:33,169 domestic violence, intimate partner rape, marital rape, and spousal rape. 359 00:36:33,919 --> 00:36:40,309 No matter what term is used or how the relationship is defined, it 360 00:36:40,309 --> 00:36:47,129 is never okay to engage in sexual activity without someone's consent. 361 00:36:47,849 --> 00:36:49,309 I think this is big here. 362 00:36:50,009 --> 00:36:58,604 You know, because for a long time, just me being able to touch you in a sexual way, 363 00:37:00,844 --> 00:37:02,884 it bothered you at times. 364 00:37:03,354 --> 00:37:10,684 And this is another one of those ripple things as we get in deeper 365 00:37:10,724 --> 00:37:13,754 to what this actually does. 366 00:37:14,214 --> 00:37:20,574 You still, to this day, sometimes don't like to be touched. 367 00:37:20,894 --> 00:37:26,584 And for a long time, that made me angry. 368 00:37:26,674 --> 00:37:33,264 You know, it was offensive to me, it hurt me and I felt that you 369 00:37:33,634 --> 00:37:37,054 somehow had something against me. 370 00:37:37,644 --> 00:37:45,234 However, I did not take into account what had happened and how 371 00:37:45,304 --> 00:37:49,384 that could make you feel that way. 372 00:37:50,409 --> 00:37:59,369 So I really think that it's important for couples to realize, to give that space and 373 00:37:59,389 --> 00:38:07,619 time and recognize and actually outline to your partner, this is your body and 374 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:13,089 your space and yes, I want to honor that. 375 00:38:13,699 --> 00:38:14,039 Yeah. 376 00:38:14,039 --> 00:38:21,519 And I think another thing where that, that is important, where communication 377 00:38:21,619 --> 00:38:28,689 is concerned is, for the person that experienced that to open up to their 378 00:38:28,689 --> 00:38:35,079 partner and say, you know, this isn't anything personal against you, 379 00:38:35,079 --> 00:38:41,389 but I'm just feeling triggered, or having a bad day or a bad time, or 380 00:38:41,390 --> 00:38:45,759 something stirred up a bad memory. 381 00:38:46,199 --> 00:38:50,139 I'm just not feeling like I want to be touched right now. 382 00:38:51,069 --> 00:38:56,239 So to open up and communicate that way, I think would help a lot. 383 00:38:57,659 --> 00:38:58,789 Yeah, I agree. 384 00:38:58,869 --> 00:39:01,479 You know, uh, communication. 385 00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:07,949 Especially when that has occurred in your life is really 386 00:39:08,589 --> 00:39:12,299 at the utmost of importance. 387 00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:20,749 Because you need to know who your partner is, the, the deep, dark secrets. 388 00:39:21,949 --> 00:39:23,579 They can't be secret. 389 00:39:23,589 --> 00:39:28,779 They have to come out so your partner understands who you are. 390 00:39:29,289 --> 00:39:31,199 Without that knowledge, 391 00:39:33,224 --> 00:39:38,334 you're really battling some things and you don't know what you're battling. 392 00:39:39,824 --> 00:39:48,414 So, you know, to be intimate with your partner is a very positive thing. 393 00:39:49,644 --> 00:39:56,794 But because of sexual violence, rape, you know, just these intolerable 394 00:39:56,804 --> 00:39:59,344 things that occur in our life, 395 00:40:00,174 --> 00:40:06,954 it can be very difficult later in life when you want to be 396 00:40:06,954 --> 00:40:08,534 intimate with your partner. 397 00:40:09,054 --> 00:40:19,574 And restoring that, it does really take that buffer zone and really letting your 398 00:40:19,594 --> 00:40:23,384 partner know that, Hey, I understand. 399 00:40:24,004 --> 00:40:25,114 It's okay. 400 00:40:25,714 --> 00:40:33,794 And take that time to trust me and understand I'm here for you. 401 00:40:34,534 --> 00:40:35,854 I think it's really big. 402 00:40:37,804 --> 00:40:40,204 Let's move on to the next one. 403 00:40:41,274 --> 00:40:42,454 This is a big one. 404 00:40:42,494 --> 00:40:43,504 Incest. 405 00:40:44,454 --> 00:40:51,274 If you've ever experienced sexual abuse by a family member, you are not alone. 406 00:40:51,944 --> 00:40:54,844 And what happened to you is not your fault. 407 00:40:55,614 --> 00:41:01,874 While it may be difficult to talk about, you should know that it is 408 00:41:01,874 --> 00:41:05,714 an issue that impacts many people. 409 00:41:06,734 --> 00:41:14,824 The majority of juvenile victims know the perpetrator, and approximately thirty-four 410 00:41:14,844 --> 00:41:22,824 percent of perpetrators in cases of child sexual abuse are family members. 411 00:41:24,499 --> 00:41:32,799 While incest is often underreported, RAINN frequently offers support to 412 00:41:32,799 --> 00:41:39,559 survivors of incest of all ages through the National Sexual Assault Hotline. 413 00:41:40,109 --> 00:41:44,469 If you want to talk to someone confidentially about what you 414 00:41:44,470 --> 00:41:49,912 are going through, visit online. 415 00:41:49,912 --> 00:41:58,709 rainn.org anytime, 24/7, to speak with a RAINN support specialist. 416 00:42:00,699 --> 00:42:03,139 What is incest? 417 00:42:03,969 --> 00:42:08,969 The term incest refers to sexual contact between family members. 418 00:42:10,629 --> 00:42:17,259 Laws vary from state to state regarding what constitutes crimes of incest, child 419 00:42:17,259 --> 00:42:21,169 sexual abuse, sexual assault, and rape. 420 00:42:21,869 --> 00:42:29,539 Regardless of state laws, unwanted sexual contact from a family member can 421 00:42:29,539 --> 00:42:33,409 have lasting effects on the survivor. 422 00:42:35,329 --> 00:42:46,999 I can tell you from my family's experience, this breaks families apart. 423 00:42:47,759 --> 00:42:50,249 And it 424 00:42:52,849 --> 00:43:00,659 puts a distrust in the victim and the perpetrator. 425 00:43:01,959 --> 00:43:07,599 It's really funny how that might sound, but it is very true. 426 00:43:08,849 --> 00:43:15,319 Once that occurs, there's a distrust factor. 427 00:43:15,349 --> 00:43:15,439 And 428 00:43:19,184 --> 00:43:26,024 it goes back to that shame, guilt, kind of pulling the covers over things, 429 00:43:26,024 --> 00:43:29,034 hiding it, sweeping it under the rug. 430 00:43:32,614 --> 00:43:42,544 And, and incest is very hard to deal with, especially when the parents 431 00:43:42,544 --> 00:43:48,529 themselves have been molested and abused. 432 00:43:49,299 --> 00:43:55,379 And that gets back into that generational curse, it just keeps happening. 433 00:43:56,169 --> 00:44:02,559 And that's why it's so important that we all figure out how to talk 434 00:44:02,569 --> 00:44:05,649 about these things with each other. 435 00:44:07,379 --> 00:44:12,499 We can prevent a lot of this from occurring 436 00:44:13,314 --> 00:44:15,294 by educating others. 437 00:44:15,684 --> 00:44:19,224 And that's what we're doing today, discussing this. 438 00:44:19,224 --> 00:44:28,454 This was not easy for Theresa to actually record an episode with me. 439 00:44:29,574 --> 00:44:37,994 But it does show you that through that hard work and baby stepping it in, you 440 00:44:37,994 --> 00:44:46,334 can find that comfort, that safe zone where you can start releasing it and 441 00:44:47,284 --> 00:44:50,354 exploring more comfort in your life. 442 00:44:51,014 --> 00:44:53,094 And there's many ways to do that. 443 00:44:54,004 --> 00:44:56,494 Let's go on a little more here. 444 00:44:57,414 --> 00:45:03,464 The next is, drug facilitated sexual assault. 445 00:45:04,964 --> 00:45:13,294 In cases of drug facilitated sexual assault, survivors often blame themselves. 446 00:45:14,294 --> 00:45:16,944 Remember, you are not to blame. 447 00:45:17,324 --> 00:45:21,464 You are the only one allowed to make choices for your body. 448 00:45:22,394 --> 00:45:29,564 Using drugs or alcohol is never an excuse for assault and does 449 00:45:29,564 --> 00:45:33,034 not mean that it was your fault. 450 00:45:34,614 --> 00:45:38,304 What is drug facilitated sexual assault? 451 00:45:39,364 --> 00:45:45,064 Drug facilitated sexual assault occurs when alcohol or drugs are 452 00:45:45,064 --> 00:45:53,344 used to compromise an individual's ability to consent to sexual activity. 453 00:45:54,174 --> 00:46:00,534 These substances make it easier for a perpetrator to commit sexual assault 454 00:46:00,554 --> 00:46:06,404 because they lower inhibitions, reduce a person's ability to 455 00:46:06,404 --> 00:46:13,014 resist, and can prevent them from remembering details of the assault. 456 00:46:14,274 --> 00:46:21,149 Drugs and alcohol can cause diminished capacity, a legal term that varies 457 00:46:21,469 --> 00:46:23,849 in definition from state to state. 458 00:46:25,009 --> 00:46:30,989 You may have heard the term date rape drugs to refer to substances 459 00:46:31,349 --> 00:46:36,729 that perpetrators use to commit sexual assault, such as roofies. 460 00:46:37,409 --> 00:46:42,799 Alcohol is the most common substance used to perpetrate 461 00:46:42,809 --> 00:46:45,309 drug facilitated sexual assault. 462 00:46:46,259 --> 00:46:51,909 Drug facilitated sexual assault can happen to anyone, by anyone, 463 00:46:52,699 --> 00:46:58,659 whether the perpetrator is an intimate partner, stranger, or 464 00:46:58,809 --> 00:47:01,849 someone you've known for a lifetime. 465 00:47:02,699 --> 00:47:07,939 How often does sexual assault occur in the United States? 466 00:47:10,089 --> 00:47:18,774 The number of people victimized each year: inmates, 80,600 were 467 00:47:18,774 --> 00:47:21,254 sexually assaulted or raped. 468 00:47:22,614 --> 00:47:32,524 Children, 60,000 were victims of substantiated or indicated sexual abuse. 469 00:47:33,524 --> 00:47:47,064 General public, 433,648 Americans twelve and older, were 470 00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:49,234 sexually assaulted or raped. 471 00:47:51,434 --> 00:48:00,764 The military, 18,900, experienced unwanted sexual contact. 472 00:48:02,544 --> 00:48:09,104 Nine out of every ten victims of rape are female. 473 00:48:12,679 --> 00:48:16,839 17. 7 million American women as of 1998. 474 00:48:16,969 --> 00:48:18,399 Ten 475 00:48:21,639 --> 00:48:23,199 percent are male. 476 00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:30,589 2. 78 million American men as of 1998. 477 00:48:30,589 --> 00:48:36,939 Here's a breakdown of locations where sexual assault occurs. 478 00:48:38,004 --> 00:48:43,054 The majority of sexual assaults occur at or near the victim's home. 479 00:48:43,974 --> 00:48:48,314 Fifty-five percent at or near the victim's home. 480 00:48:49,354 --> 00:48:53,954 Fifteen percent in an open public space. 481 00:48:55,274 --> 00:48:59,144 Twelve percent at or near a relative's home. 482 00:49:00,654 --> 00:49:09,459 Ten percent in an enclosed but public area, such as a parking lot or a garage. 483 00:49:10,519 --> 00:49:15,149 Eight percent on school property. 484 00:49:16,249 --> 00:49:22,899 I just want to say something right here, because it's saying a lot of them occurs 485 00:49:22,919 --> 00:49:25,869 in a victim's home or a relative's home. 486 00:49:26,889 --> 00:49:37,174 And when victims are in a space where they're in a lot of denial, 487 00:49:38,794 --> 00:49:42,284 it opens this up to continue. 488 00:49:42,304 --> 00:49:47,834 Because when they become adults and have children of their own, 489 00:49:48,834 --> 00:49:58,689 then they go to family gatherings or they allow the perpetrators to, 490 00:49:59,509 --> 00:50:08,859 uh, babysit or take their children to places like outings or whatever. 491 00:50:09,849 --> 00:50:15,269 And I just want to say, It's okay to not let that happen. 492 00:50:15,279 --> 00:50:19,349 You can, you should protect your children and 493 00:50:21,449 --> 00:50:28,969 Put boundaries and say, No, it's not okay for you to babysit my child or to take 494 00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:36,599 my child somewhere, you know, like a zoo or whatever they want to take them to. 495 00:50:39,579 --> 00:50:43,419 You should never leave your children alone with somebody like that. 496 00:50:44,279 --> 00:50:47,969 Yes, you are ultimately responsible for your children. 497 00:50:48,969 --> 00:50:56,999 And it should be you or your spouse, that, that's the only people that 498 00:50:57,009 --> 00:50:58,849 should be alone with your children. 499 00:51:00,059 --> 00:51:08,539 And you know, there are so many more statistics to just compound the problem. 500 00:51:09,259 --> 00:51:11,959 You know, it's, it's everywhere. 501 00:51:12,429 --> 00:51:22,969 It happens to rich, poor, strong, weak, able, disabled, you know, it's across 502 00:51:22,979 --> 00:51:27,759 all genders, it extends all race. 503 00:51:28,489 --> 00:51:34,439 There are no boundaries or limits to the problems occurring 504 00:51:34,729 --> 00:51:36,529 because of sexual assault. 505 00:51:37,739 --> 00:51:43,999 As we said at the very beginning, every sixty-eight seconds an 506 00:51:43,999 --> 00:51:46,769 American is sexually assaulted. 507 00:51:47,789 --> 00:51:52,159 The majority of sexual assault victims are under thirty. 508 00:51:53,169 --> 00:51:57,289 Fifteen percent age twelve to seventeen. 509 00:51:57,289 --> 00:51:57,839 Fifty-four 510 00:51:59,979 --> 00:52:07,029 percent of sexual assault victims, eighteen to thirty-four. 511 00:52:09,544 --> 00:52:13,264 Twenty-eight percent thirty-five to sixty-four. 512 00:52:14,864 --> 00:52:16,474 And then three percent 513 00:52:18,664 --> 00:52:20,954 age sixty-five plus. 514 00:52:21,994 --> 00:52:26,684 It's also known that women and girls experience sexual 515 00:52:26,694 --> 00:52:29,834 violence at higher rates. 516 00:52:30,644 --> 00:52:37,114 One out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted 517 00:52:37,124 --> 00:52:40,734 or completed rape in her lifetime. 518 00:52:41,714 --> 00:52:46,724 14. 8 percent completed, 2. 519 00:52:46,774 --> 00:52:48,714 8 percent attempted. 520 00:52:50,184 --> 00:52:54,054 Men and boys are also affected by sexual violence. 521 00:52:55,204 --> 00:53:01,134 Males, age eighteen to twenty-four, who are college students, are 522 00:53:01,134 --> 00:53:07,304 approximately five times more likely than non students of the same age to 523 00:53:07,304 --> 00:53:10,814 be victim of rape or sexual assault. 524 00:53:11,124 --> 00:53:14,004 I find that kind of interesting. 525 00:53:15,054 --> 00:53:17,494 Is that because of the college environment? 526 00:53:18,754 --> 00:53:22,534 It's, it's a question to be thinking about and asking. 527 00:53:23,284 --> 00:53:27,214 Native Americans are at the greatest risk 528 00:53:27,584 --> 00:53:29,594 of sexual violence. 529 00:53:29,974 --> 00:53:35,604 On average, American Indians age twelve and older experience 530 00:53:35,924 --> 00:53:40,134 5,900 sexual assaults per year. 531 00:53:41,814 --> 00:53:50,634 Every nine minutes, Child Protective Services substantiates or finds evidence 532 00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:54,404 for a claim of child sexual abuse. 533 00:53:55,459 --> 00:54:02,159 Of all victims under eighteen, two out of three are ages twelve to seventeen. 534 00:54:02,909 --> 00:54:11,399 About the predators, half of the predators are thirty or older. 535 00:54:13,589 --> 00:54:17,859 Twenty-five percent are twenty-one through twenty-nine. 536 00:54:19,389 --> 00:54:23,699 Nine percent are eighteen through twenty. 537 00:54:25,314 --> 00:54:31,694 And there's a whopping fifteen percent are seventeen or younger. 538 00:54:32,904 --> 00:54:36,204 Now this is very interesting here also. 539 00:54:36,204 --> 00:54:38,724 The race of perpetrators. 540 00:54:39,314 --> 00:54:46,154 A lot of people often assume that blacks are the higher percentile 541 00:54:46,154 --> 00:54:48,544 when it comes to crimes like this. 542 00:54:49,014 --> 00:54:51,544 That is not true. 543 00:54:52,184 --> 00:55:00,114 Fifty-seven percent are white, while only twenty-seven percent are black. 544 00:55:00,864 --> 00:55:08,284 More than half of all alleged rapists have at least one prior conviction. 545 00:55:10,694 --> 00:55:17,624 Suspects who are released pre trial often commit new crimes. 546 00:55:19,259 --> 00:55:24,829 With that being said, the criminal justice system statistics state 547 00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:31,249 the vast majority of perpetrators will not go to jail or prison. 548 00:55:31,949 --> 00:55:42,399 Out of every 1, 000 sexual assaults, 975 perpetrators will walk free. 549 00:55:44,179 --> 00:55:47,689 Out of 1, 000 assault and battery crimes, 550 00:55:49,969 --> 00:55:56,099 627 are reported to police, and only 255 551 00:55:58,529 --> 00:56:01,359 reports lead to arrest. 552 00:56:02,689 --> 00:56:07,649 On campus sexual violence statistics. 553 00:56:08,939 --> 00:56:16,019 Women, age eighteen to twenty-four, are at an elevated risk of sexual violence. 554 00:56:19,119 --> 00:56:24,809 Sexual violence is more prevalent at college compared to other crimes. 555 00:56:25,319 --> 00:56:33,609 College age victims of sexual violence often do not report to law enforcement. 556 00:56:35,519 --> 00:56:43,994 I think that's very important that people understand reporting 557 00:56:43,994 --> 00:56:47,484 these things is very important. 558 00:56:48,274 --> 00:56:51,314 No matter who it is, why it is. 559 00:56:53,364 --> 00:57:00,734 If we are unwilling to stand up against this sort of thing, 560 00:57:02,974 --> 00:57:09,364 it's only going to get worse and worse as time goes on. 561 00:57:10,769 --> 00:57:17,169 There's a lot of argument that I've heard, well, you can't 562 00:57:17,179 --> 00:57:19,889 report it if somebody's innocent. 563 00:57:21,579 --> 00:57:27,619 But I've found out that that's really the job of the justice system to find 564 00:57:27,629 --> 00:57:31,659 out who's guilty, who's innocent. 565 00:57:32,829 --> 00:57:41,149 And if we're unwilling to use the system, or the mechanisms that 566 00:57:41,299 --> 00:57:49,139 we've established by law, then these perpetrators have already won. 567 00:57:51,799 --> 00:57:53,359 With that being said, 568 00:57:55,839 --> 00:58:02,349 I really feel that it is very important to highlight this type 569 00:58:02,369 --> 00:58:06,249 of subject in our world today. 570 00:58:07,634 --> 00:58:13,494 And I want to say thank you to my beautiful wife, Theresa, for stepping 571 00:58:13,494 --> 00:58:19,524 up to the plate and helping me highlight these problems because I don't think 572 00:58:19,524 --> 00:58:21,144 I would have done it without her. 573 00:58:21,994 --> 00:58:27,864 So in closing, do you have anything else you want to share 574 00:58:28,904 --> 00:58:31,934 about any of this, Theresa? 575 00:58:33,549 --> 00:58:39,869 Well, I just add to what you were saying about we need to stand up and, 576 00:58:41,709 --> 00:58:48,309 for ourselves and speak out, you know, even if you can't get a family member 577 00:58:48,349 --> 00:58:53,429 to believe you or listen to you, there are other people to reach out like 578 00:58:53,429 --> 00:59:04,729 this rainn.org, or a teacher, a pastor, a close friend or a friend's family. 579 00:59:06,399 --> 00:59:11,209 Somebody to reach out to or even the police. 580 00:59:12,539 --> 00:59:15,459 Just whoever you can get to listen to you. 581 00:59:16,709 --> 00:59:21,419 Yeah, because sometimes it is very difficult to navigate. 582 00:59:21,849 --> 00:59:24,239 Well, not sometimes, always. 583 00:59:24,729 --> 00:59:27,749 And help is always a blessing. 584 00:59:27,809 --> 00:59:27,939 Yeah. 585 00:59:28,419 --> 00:59:29,059 Alright. 586 00:59:29,059 --> 00:59:37,439 With that, I ask that you go to rainn.org, that's R, A, I, N, N.org. 587 00:59:39,009 --> 00:59:45,919 Support them, and support each other by getting involved, standing up. 588 00:59:46,069 --> 00:59:46,839 And 589 00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:55,340 thank you for listening and have a great afternoon no matter where you are. 590 00:59:58,990 --> 01:00:00,730 Thank you for joining us today. 591 01:00:01,310 --> 01:00:07,560 If you found this podcast enlightening, entertaining, educational in any way, 592 01:00:08,340 --> 01:00:14,710 please share, like, subscribe, and join us right back here next week for another 593 01:00:14,730 --> 01:00:18,030 great episode of the Dead America Podcast. 594 01:00:18,420 --> 01:00:23,950 I'm Ed Watters, your host, enjoy your afternoon wherever you might be.